Thursday, March 6, 2025

Homestead happenings!

 It’s been a busy week around here. So for a recap:

Our one doe’s kidded 2 beautiful little girls, but a coyote broke in and got both of them. We were devastated and heart broken. Farm man(hubby) was able to find where they entered and get it fixed. After that we decided to go ahead and milk her. She is a Nigerian x golden gurnsey. GG’s are phenomenal milkers, giving up yo a gallon a day easily. Nigerians of course don’t give that much. My hope was in crossing them is  that the offspring would smaller and give more milk than a typical Nigerian. So far that’s been the case. As time goes on I’ll know more. 

The seeds I planted are all germinating and doing great!. I’m very pleased with them all. I’m excited to be able to get outside in the garden and get my hands in the dirt.

 I planted far more herbs than my usual ones. Mostly medicinal. I have a lot to learn about medicinal herbs but knowledge is power. And I’m studying as time allows.

I’ll be putting eggs in the incubator soon. Rather than buying chicks I decided to just hatch my own barnyard mix. It’s much cheaper. Purebreds are nice, and I will order some next year probably, but a barnyard mix still lays eggs! I’ve never been so grateful to live the lifestyle we do!

I’ve been trying to keep my focus on our farm and just staying home and quiet rather than focus on current events. I figure the universe will handle it. And I 100% believe in Karma! What you put out there will come back 3 fold. Be it good or bad! Some people will have a really time when karma comes back to them! 

 My countenance has lifted now that winter is winding down and spring is well on its way. 

Spring always brings with renewed hope and joy. 

So many plans this spring! I’m eager to get started on them. It will be a busy time but also productive. I’ll post what we’re doing as we go along!

Until next time…

Love & Light


Saturday, March 1, 2025

Seeds

My seeds are germinating well. Makes my heart happy to see this! Been a long hard winter and I’m so ready for spring and to be in my garden!
What are you doing to prepare for spring?


 

Wednesday, February 26, 2025

Saying goodbye

Finished planting all my seeds this morning. Some of earlier plants are starting to germinate already! I am feeling so excited about springtime! The temps today are gorgeous and I’ve spent a bit of time in the garden cleaning up the raised beds. While working, my thoughts wandered to how we all sometimes want something really bad and yet it never seems to happen. You may have wanted that thing for years…then one day it all makes sense why it didn’t happen. It could even be a friendship that was always a bit rocky but you kept trying to make it work. Then one day something happens and you understand it’s time to move on. 

You even realize it’s not painful like you thought it would be. You saw the toxicity all along but chose to ignore it hoping you were wrong. It’s like a switch flips on and there it is! In your face. You know it’s time to let go. 

It’s not easy letting go of a long time friendship. These people are like fixtures in our life. But they have always been a source of pain and stress. They don’t ever seem to really understand you are who you are. Deep conversations elude them. They never try to understand those things that bother you or that you are passionate about. They would rather sweep hard things under the rug and keep things at a surface level. So you oblige.

But by obliging you aren’t being true to yourself. You are suppressing part of what makes you, you! You don’t feel fulfilled, understood or heard. When hard topics arise they get distant and ignore the issue. Still, you continue the relationship. Until you just can’t. 

I have mixed emotions today about a friendship that ended. I think part of me is relieved and part of me wishes it could’ve been different. 

I had been wanting to end the friendship for awhile, but kept thinking it would get better. But the lies kept coming and misunderstandings. Today this person made the decision to say bye. It was weird because I had literally opened my email to do the same thing. End it! 

The universe knew! My only regret is that I really cared for the person. Not sure why…there was lots of history there that was not good on their part…the writing was on the wall for a very long time. 

I tend to give the benefit of the doubt even when my gut tells me different. But I can say deep down I’m glad it’s done. My feelings had changed in recent weeks toward my friend. I begin to see things more clearly than ever! It was hard, but necessary. While I don’t believe in a god that interacts in our daily lives, I certainly believe in a higher force that sees and knows our intentions. Energy is a powerful thing. This friends energy had been off for years. I chose not see it. Until a few days ago. I regret I tried so many times to explain myself to someone that really didn’t care to understand. They were selfish, I see that now. They have been selfish in their life in so many ways…yet I kept thinking it would be ok. I realized a few days ago it was not ok! 

I have realized, listen to your gut, pay attention to energy, don’t let anyone, ever dismiss your feelings! Always be true to who you are! 

Until next time…

Monday, February 24, 2025

Spring is near!

I woke this morning the house was quiet. Hubby had already left for a job that is quite a distance away, so he got an early start. I enjoy my quiet mornings so much. I fixed bottles for the goat kids, got them fed, let the dogs out, made my coffee and stayed in my thoughts.

So many thoughts this morning. I was so grateful for the quiet this morning. I don’t think those around me understand how much I enjoy my quiet and solitude. A feeling of peace was around me as I made my morning coffee.

I look out the window and I can see the goats. Some are eating the hay, others are quietly laying in the sun and enjoying soaking in the rays and enjoying the warmth! A few of the kids are running and frolicking enjoying the warmth. I wonder if they look forward to spring like some of us do. 

It’s been a long winter here on the homestead. Seems it’s been a lifetime. So many reasons why. My eyes shift to woods behind the goat yard and the trees are barren of their leaves, seems they have been asleep forever. Winter, while necessary for Mother Nature to do her thing is so plain. Everything feels so exposed and cold. It feels sad to me! Everything just looks sad and dead.

Backing up a bit, I was outside yesterday afternoon enjoying the nice weather myself, and decided to do a bit of looking in my flower beds. One was overgrown with weeds that I didn’t get to in the fall. As I was pulling them out I noticed my hyacinth was peeking through the soil. My heart was full! Spring is around the corner! As I made my way back to the house I looked down and saw a little dandelion! Both were next to some snow still left from our storm a few days ago. 

I love when the seasons meet like this. It reminds of what needs to be let go of in order to make room for the fresh and new.

Spring is a time of renewal. A time to start over. A reminder that death and cold must go in order to bring forth new growth. 

Our country is in a time upheaval. A winter if you will. People are sleeping and dormant unable to see what’s happening. It’s hard for those of us that do. The cold bitterness I see around me is scary! It’s unbelievable. I know with time some will wake up. Soon! I hope! 

I cling tightly to the belief that we will experience a spring time in our society very soon. Love, warmth and caring will once again surround us. I quietly imagine the ones that are so hate filled right now, coming from their slumber wondering how they stayed asleep so long. Some will feel bad that they got so caught up in the coldness, others will remain in a slumber, never waking and they will die from the lack of warmth. 

As hard as it is, we all must experience this time of winter. Even those of us that really despise this season. Some winters are harsher and colder than others. Our country is going through a very tough winter right now. I hold onto the idea that soon, spring time will emerge. Bringing with it a renewed sense of hope, growth, change and warmth.

Winter is a time of rest, a reset if you will. Things die back to go into a deep slumber. Leaves turn from green to orange, burgundy, gold and brown eventually falling from the branches. Leaving behind a barren and stripped tree. Growth happens but at a slower pace. Storms will come and halt life temporarily. Snow, ice, sleet will wreck havoc on our landscape. Limbs will fall under the weight of the winter snow and ice, trees will fall… Nothing will escape the brutality of the winter storm….Leaving us wondering if the warmth will ever return. Some winters leave lasting damage for years to come. 

I have to believe….

Eventually the snow and ice melts and warmth returns. New growth and understanding begins to happen and all the color of life begins to emerge. The springs rains come to wash away any signs of winter from the landscape, the birds once quiet, hiding from the winter begin to sing again, the leaves on the trees begin to come forth and line the landscape in beauty. Damage from the winter can still be seen like the fallen branches from the weight of the winter snow and ice, but there is always room for new growth to emerge. Trees sometimes fall under the weight if not anchored well to its base.

Winter time is a reminder for us to stay rooted and grounded and sheltered in the light and warmth, our base. We must continue to grow throughout our winter season. Stay rooted and strong in what’s right! Don’t be swayed by the cold winter winds we are experiencing! Stay the course. Even when the icy chill comes sweeping through, stay in the warm light! The warmth will return just as winter turns to spring and spring to summer. Surround yourself by others holding onto the light.

Times are hard right now. Many of us are feeling gripped by the hands of old man winter! But his grip is getting weaker by the day! A waking up is happening! Continue to wake up, wipe the sleep from your eyes, look around and you’ll see the damage from storm, but you’ll also see new things emerging. There must be winter before spring! Join me in holding fast to warmth I know is still here, right now it’s just being over ridden by the icy, cold, ugly grip of old many winter…but spring is near! Believe with me!

Until next time…

Love, light & warmth 

Sunday, February 23, 2025

Seeds started!

Started some seeds yesterday. I realized there was a few things I was missing so had to do a quick order. They should arrive this next week. I bought these little seed starters off Amazon. There are 12 cells per unit. I have 180 cells planted. There are 5 rows of planters but I couldn’t fit the 5th row in the picture, but if you look closely you’ll see it. Lots of goodies planted here! So excited for spring! Hoping all germinate!



Friday, February 21, 2025

It’s who I am

So often over the years I have met different people that claim they would love to have lived in the Pioneer era....they have their 100 year old farm homes, and their homes all decorated with antiques and some even have a rich history of farming in their family...they have large acreage and some how they think this entitles them to call themselves 'old fashioned' or 'simple people'...the funny part is, is that these are also the same people that drive huge gas guzling SUV's, have manicures weekly, wear flashy name brand clothing and carry and the latest and greatest iPhone trading their old one in every time a new one is available....

I have to chuckle at these people as they are scheduling their next pedicure or manicure, rattling on about their pioneer spirit...LOL...alrighty then...These people are seriously only 'playing' at farming or 'pioneering'...mention being off the grid to one to of them and they look at you as if you are a 6 eyed, 3 nosed, horned alien...they own 3 hens, 2 goats and live in a million dollar home with a 6 figure income and claim its not much money....they make sure the hen house looks "pretty" and the goats are well hidden in the back 40 so the neighbors don't see them and think they are 'white trash or beneath them'....they feel this world will go on like it has for the past 40 years and they have no idea about preparedness...to them it means having a several thousand dollars invested in the stock market or in a savings account...mention the word survival and they immediately turn and run...

.My point in this?.

Having a pioneer spirit is truly who you are...not what you do, what kinda home you live in or what you have....you do things not because they are being done by others and sounds cool, but because it is deep within your soul to do these things....you prepare not because its a new movement or fad, but because it makes sense...the things going on in our world tells us to be prepared....you feel a deep connection with the earth and critters...you long to live off grid and experience life on a more simple and sustainable level...you couldn't care less about the latest gaming system or latest gadget to make life easier...when you hear someone 'working on their apple product', your mind goes to 'butter and pie'...lol...you spend your days figuring out ways to organize so things are simpler and more efficient...You get excited over seeing a new hen laying her first egg or watching the marvel of a chick hatching from its egg...you have no clue about name brand purses and shoes, you’ve never had a manicure or pedicure ...you live to feel the sun on your face, the dirt on your hands...you look forward to spring and digging the dirt and planting your food rather than getting up and running to the local supermarket and mall...you don’t follow the crowd, or keep up with Joneses….you are true to who you are! Money isn’t the reason you live, it’s not the focal point of your life. Your goals are simple…to be as self sufficient as you can be. 

You have skills many have lost in our modern day. Sewing, cooking from scratch, baking, you know a bit about herbal medicine, animal husbandry, you know how to make do or do without! You know how to grow and raise food, you know how to preserve it. You know how to live without power for an extended period of time. You have the tools necessary to do so.

One of your greatest joys in life is hearing a rooster crow to wake you up rather than waking to the beep of an electronic device...you love hard, laugh alot and live simple...your friends are like you...you have no use for the silliness that others occupy their lives with.....our down time is not spent at the local mall or pining over magazines like better homes and gardens or getting our nails and hair done...or planning our next vacation! Our life is one we don’t need to get away from! 

We spend our time sitting on the swing watching the clouds float by...we dream of our futures, but not of the new boats or bigger house we will own...nope...we dream of how many pigs we can fit in a 30 by 30 pen and how much money it save on meat, or how we can expand that greenhouse next year, or how many more raised beds we need for those 100 tomato plants...

Our lives are different....we are not like those that call theirselves pioneers of today that believe cause you live in a farm house with some land and decorate with antiques and have ancestors that wore pioneer clothing that you somehow were handed down a 'pioneer spirit'....Sorry to say it don't work that way...No one in my family is like me...lol...I am quite unique in the way I live, think and conduct my life...I am looking forward with anticipation of being as self-sufficient as we can be...we go 'chicken' shopping and sometimes "calf shopping"...I haven't been in the mall in 30 years!...I am still living...we are not in debt up past our eyeballs to finance our life...we totally understand the value of a dollar...we save for the big things and pay cash...the way it used to be done...we use the barter system a lot...We believe that society will be at some point forced back to the way it was in the days of old...before the industrial era, before everyone competed with everyone else...a simpler time...not easier...but simpler...I lay my head down at night grateful for my simple, quiet day…this is who I am.

Wednesday, February 19, 2025

Short update!


I’ve been quiet as of late. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say, I’m just not sure how to put my thoughts in order. So for now I’ll update the farm.

We had more snow and horribly cold temperatures. All the critters seemed to have faired well. By this weekend we will moderate some. 

I’m so ready for spring. It’s been a long winter in more ways than one. I’m looking forward to getting outside in the garden and sunshine. I know it will greatly improve my countenance!

So many spring time plans this year, not sure all will be accomplished but we will give it our best shot! A few plans on the agenda-they are subject to change.

Add onto the greenhouse

Expand the garden 

Build a large goat barn with milking area.

Enclosed the chicken yard

Build water catchment system

Pay off some small debts.

Our goat herd has grown by 9 kids this winter. 5 girls will be staying here. We will be selling off all our bucks but 1 this year. I will find another herd sire. 

We have added to the chicken flock as well. Soon I’ll pull out the incubator and hatch some chicks. 

I’ll be starting seeds soon.

Lots of things going on here just haven’t taken the time to update. Hope all is well on your homestead. 

Until next time…


Sunday, February 9, 2025

We can make a difference!

The air was cold as I stepped outside this morning. It was quiet minus the dogs barking. I stopped a moment, took a deep breath. The cool air felt good in my lungs. It was refreshing. I looked around. The sun was shining, the spring grass is starting to come in, some trees have tiny buds on them. I know spring is near. I walked to hen house to let the hens out and to gather the eggs, I thought about how grateful I am to be in this place. Many would love to have what we have. We aren’t rich by a long shot, our struggles are real like others. We work really hard to have what we do. We’ve taken this piece of land that was once dirt rock and trees and turned it into a nice little homestead. It’s not pristine, or perfect. Seems something always needs done. It’s not worthy of Mary Jane’s farm magazine but it’s ours! And we have worked so hard to make it what it is. I am grateful.

As I gathered the eggs I felt a sense of peace. Quickly my mind turned to all the turmoil of the past years, weeks, months and recent days. I still held that sense of peace. 

I haven’t always had peace, life hasn’t been easy. But I have survived. I am outspoken and don’t hesitate to tell you what I think! That’s offensive to some while others appreciate knowing where I stand on any given subject. My peace comes from finally feeling like I have a voice, and like I matter. My peace comes from knowing I have survived thus far and I’m strong! My peace comes from knowing there are others out there like me!

Winter is winding down, coming to its end, I have survived. Spring will soon be here and all the newness of life will emerge, warmth will once again return. My mornings will be spent drinking my coffee on my swing, watching my chickens peck the ground and hearing my goats bleat in the distance. 

My countenance has started to lift and the seasonal depression I go through every fall/winter is starting to fade. I feel more energetic and joyful. It’s hard to find joy right now isn’t it?

All the turmoil we are facing. While some are enjoying it, many of us are struggling with it all. But just know we will be ok! Find your joy and peace wherever you can. Grab those fleeting moments and hug them tight! Embrace the small things and those things most take for granted. Smile often, laugh more! 

Hold that cup of coffee/tea, take in the aroma and thank the universe you are here for such a time as this. We are here, in this time, going through these things because we are suppost to be! We each have a role to play. Know yours. Find peace in that. Never be silenced!

Never quit being you! You are important and your voice matters. The quickest way for evil to take over is to stay silent! Evil is surrounding us, it’s not even trying to hide anymore. It is suppressing minorities, anyone they think is not worthy. Money is at the root of it all. Don’t give up! Stay the course. You matter! 

We are here to be a light in darkness. The beacon that lights the way for those ships lost in the dark. Never quit speaking out against evil. Our little homestead is a safe haven. I’ve always believed that. I always will. We will be a bright spot in the darkest of days that are coming. We will not let evil win in our lives or our hearts. We will speak truth loudly and boldly. We won’t be quiet. Light comes from truth! 

Our homestead will serve a purpose in the years ahead. It brings me peace knowing that. It gives me incentive to keep going and forging ahead. The load is lighter when you know your purpose. 

I want to help people, all people! Not just certain group of people. Not just people with skin like me. Not just people in relationships like me! We all bleed red. Sigh…my heart is burdened by what I see, hear and read. 

I want to make a difference! Be better! It’s ok to angry! We should all be angry at what we are seeing. Speak up let your voice be heard!

This week, work to find your peace, find joy in the small things. Find peace one moment at time! Be grateful every minute of the day. Even in the midst of all this ugliness, there is beauty to be found! Do something good everyday! Put a grocery cart in a cart stall for an elderly person, let someone go before you in the checkout line, pay for the order behind you at Starbucks, compliment someone, if you see someone struggling to walk, help them! We can make a difference one kind act at a time! The universe sees!


Saturday, February 8, 2025

Choose wisely!

 

I sit here this morning thinking about all we have gone through the past few years, and how tired many of us are. I ask myself where we are headed, will we all be ok. My answer, some of us will.

I just saw where a 16 year girl died from flu complications. Sigh..:we are facing so many illnesses on top of everything else. Life feels so overwhelming right now. 

Sadly this is just getting started in my opinion. I think what we will experience in the next few years will change us all. Maybe for the better. Maybe all this turmoil is to teach us patience, kindness, empathy, and love for our fellow man/woman. Maybe we need to experience this hatred that is running rampant in order to understand acceptance. Maybe we need to go through this time of chaos to understand we ALL bleed red!

I want to make clear, I am not condoning crime or criminals. I am not condoning that at all. What I am saying is we are all human and all have feelings. 

There are some on the right that are some of the most hateful, intolerant, nasty people I have ever met. And some on the left are overly accepting! I see both ways.

We have to find the middle ground. Extremism is tearing us apart and will make all of this more difficult. 

We are transitioning I believe, transitioning to a better time, a better earth. A place of acceptance, love, kindness and empathy. It’s going to be challenging to get there. Our roadblocks will be many. Stay the path. Keep your mind and heart focused. 

We are all made of vibrational energy. Keep your vibration high. Eat well, sleep well, meditate, focus on the good and be grateful. High vibration keeps us well. High vibrational people will make it through this. We will be a light in the darkness. Stay away from dark people that are supporting the darkness. They will dim your light and deplete your energy. Find your balance in staying informed and staying upbeat.

These past few months have been so very trying. I have found myself depressed and just not at my best. These past few days I’ve made some changes. I’m monitoring how much news I consume. I am watching what I eat. I am going to bed earlier and rising earlier. I am finding things to be grateful for. I am being mindful of my choices. I’m careful who I talk to, what we discuss, and how I feel after the conversation. If I feel drained it’s a no go! I just cannot do it anymore. 

I admit I am scared. I am very concerned for all our futures until this all gets worked out. There are things we can do to protest if that’s your thing. 

I have personally had to cease contact with people that supported much of what’s happening. They are not my people. The energy they bring to my life is not the energy I try to maintain. If you hate on anyone, anyone different than you, you are gone! It’s personal with me. The reasons don’t matter, but suffice to say my reasons are dear to me. So if you are a supporter of suppressing, gays, trans, women, or people of different origin, you are gone. If you think everyone should believe in your god, you’re gone! Doesn’t mean I don’t love or care deeply for you, it just means we are on totally different paths and yours is one I cannot travel.

We will get through this! Love, kindness and acceptance will prevail. Hate will not! Remember that! Hate will destroy you, everything and everyone around you! We are coming into a very trying time…you will have a choice! Love and acceptance or hate and division. Your choice will determine your future. Choose wisely my friends, choose wisely!

Thursday, February 6, 2025

Medicinal Herbs

There’s  something about February that just makes me happy! My winter depression starts lifting and I feel like we are in the home stretch to springtime! Yes, I know we can still have winter weather here, but I know spring is just around the corner! 

I ordered some seeds a month or so ago to replace some of my older ones. Today I placed another order for some additional medicinal herbs. I’m no expert in herbal medicine but I am taking classes to learn. I think with the turbulent times we are in we need to be able to care for ourselves as much as possible. Learning herbal medicine is one such way we can do that.

I am also not saying herbal medicine is a cure all, modern pharmaceuticals have their place and you should also prepare in that way as well. We just need to be well rounded in what do. Garner as much knowledge as you can. Knowledge cannot be taken from you… it’s priceless. Never quit learning.

If you don’t have a medicinal herb garden I challenge you this year to start one. It doesn’t haven’t to be elaborate, start small with some basics and build it up over time. Pick 4 or 5 herbs to study and grow those. Knowledge is power! Learn how to make tinctures and salves with the herbs you grow. Learn how to use them, for what and when. Learn dosages. Keep a journal with what you learn so you can quickly access the information when needed.

With all that is happening and happening rapidly we need to work quickly.. Get those seeds ordered today! Below are my 3 go to’s for my seeds.

Baker Creek- www.rareseeds.com

Marys Heirlooms- https://www.marysheirloomseeds.com/

Annies Heirloom seeds-https://www.anniesheirloomseeds.com/


Tuesday, February 4, 2025

Who am I

 

As we go through life our wants, needs, and values change. We can even change who we are, to a degree. It’s not really changing it’s more coming into ourself and who we are at our core. Many things can influence who we are or think we are throughout our life. 

For instance, I was raised Christian and identified as such until I was 46 when a series of events occurred that caused me to pause and revaluate what I believed about life in general. I had been “programmed” my entire life to believe in a set of values that I now, at 46 had to deconstruct. It’s been a very hard journey. That’s why I started this blog in 2016. It was the start of self discovery.

I was raised in a very strict religion. I was raised in a subset of evangelicalism. Pentecostalism. Rules were a big thing, following what you were told was a big thing. Doing and saying all the things was taught from a very early age. 

We were told each week we were sinful and not worthy of life, and how we would burn in hell if we stepped outta line. There were lots of undertones about things as well, unspoken but known rules.

We of course were taught homosexuals were hell bound and a stench in gods nostrils, men shouldn’t have long hair, women shouldn’t have short hair, women should really wear dresses at all times, makeup was for harlots, wearing the color red was for whores, tv and card games were the devils tools. Questioning authority was being contentious. Women were subservient unless the male pastor thought you were “called” and then you could preach from the pulpit. Having babies and keeping house was your highest calling as a woman and anything outside of that made you “liberal”. Premarital sex was worthy of hell. Divorce was not an option not even in spousal abuse situations. I was raised in severe domestic violence. My mom refused to leave because divorce was “wrong”. So she stayed raising 3 kids in a war zone. 

My whole life was about men exerting control over women. As a young adult the pattern continued. Men treated me however they saw fit and I just took it. I was lied to, used, cheated on, hit, called names, not financially or emotionally supported…so the pattern continued. I went to jail at one point for a hot check because my daughter needed food and my husband at the time wouldn’t buy her baby formula or diapers because she didn’t belong to him. He refused to give me money or let me work. 

I was always what I considered a conservative as far as politics. Just grew up around that so that’s what I was. Or so I thought!

When I walked away from church my ideas, values, and beliefs changed. I began to question everything! I dug into the Bible to see what it reallly said about all these things. Homosexuality, women, men, immigrants, life in general.

I soon realized what I had been taught was not right!

First I realized King James that authorized the KJV 1611 Bible was one of, if not the very first person responsible for the Salem witch trials as well as many other witch trials. I have ancestors that were hanged in the witch trials. And here I was reading the book that this man who was responsible for 100’s of murders of innocent men and women, I was living my life based on how this book said I should. That was my biggest reason for beginning the rest of my studies. King James would most likely today be diagnosed as a delusional paranoid schizophrenic.

So just this alone was enough to make me question all else I had been taught.

Homosexuality was not even in the Bible until 1946. And yes you will find information both supporting this and dissing this. This was another huge one for me. Jesus himself said nothing about homosexuality. There have been homosexuals since the beginning of mankind. Why it bothers straight people so much is totally beyond me. 

I know many homosexual people and they are some of the most kind, loving, accepting people you will ever meet. If you fear them check your own sexuality. I think many people that are so against homosexuals is because they have questioned their own sexuality and they can’t admit that. They are fearful.

The next thing was, we were always taught to “love your neighbor”. As a young child of course I thought meant love the people next door! LOL! I realized when I was older that meant every human on the planet! Red, yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world…remember this Sunday school song?

Seems many were taught it, but as adults we seem to forget it! The racism in this country is real! And it’s typically from your so-called Christian’s. 

Que in 2016 Donald the con man Trump! He is the sole reason I no longer consider myself conservative! His stance on everything is just crazy. He is a horrible human being full of hate! He’s a convicted felon(34 times), child molester, rapist, grifter, con man, serial cheater, he said he’d  fuck his own daughter and calls himself a Christian! 

Sadly Christian’s support this! They flock to him like stink on shit! This is also when I decided Christianity had taken a very bad turn and I could not, would not and should not be part of it in any form or fashion.

See, I have huge heart! I care for the immigrant fleeing a bad situation, I love my homosexual friends and family, I understand sex and gender are not the same. Just because you are of the male sex doesn’t mean you of the male gender. And why should you care? Conservatives are so obsessed with what’s in someone’s pants. It’s creepy as hell.

Conservatives worry about a trans in their restroom! You do realize you have probably shared the restroom with a trans many times and had no idea! They ain’t out to see your junk! They really ain’t!

I believe women are just as smart and in many cases smarter than a man. I believe in the Sunday school song, all colors of people are precious. We all bleed red.

So who am I?

I am kind, but not nice. Know the difference. I will put you in your place in a heartbeat! I take no shit! Took shit off people for years! No more!

I support LGBTQIA- they ain’t out to convert you!🙄

I support the right of choice for women. What I do with my body is not YOUR business!

I am absolutely pro-choice. I have beliefs on when abortion is ok and when it’s not. Please don’t assume you know my position.

I do not support the death penalty. Not the same as abortion so don’t go there!

I believe in the right to practice what ever “religion” you choose and are called to. If you don’t like my beliefs, move on. Do not proselytize. I will end a relationship before it starts if you do. I do not share my beliefs unless ask. I ask the same respect.

I do not believe in bibles or prayer in our public schools. That should be reserved for home or church!

If you are a man that abuses women, animals and children. You need to be jailed! Period! 

I am an intuitive empath. Look that up if you don’t know what that is. Never lie to me…I know!🙂I can read you like book! You can’t fool me.

If you call yourself a “good” person and support a person that is an abuser, cheater, grifter, and child molester…you are NOT a good person! You are complicit in their behavior. I don’t welcome that in my life. 

If you can see wrong, and call what it is I can and will respect that. If you make excuses for bad behavior. You’re gone! I don’t play like that.

I 100% believe in Karma. What you put out comes back 3 fold to you. I also believe in helping Karma from time to time!😏

So I hope I’ve made clear who I am and what I stand for. This of course doesn’t even touch the surface on my complicated Scorpio self but you can get an idea.🙂I can be your best friend or your worst enemy…you choose!

Until next time…



Monday, February 3, 2025

It’s a glorious day

I’m writing this while sitting outside on my swing. The sun is warm, the breeze in gentle and the fresh air is comforting. I hear my baby goats bleating in the distance and for a moment it feels like spring has arrived! It’s a glorious day! But I’m reminded it’s still winter and this is a short reprieve from the coldness.

As I sit here everything feels right in the world. I am away from the craziness going on. But I know things are not ok….they are not at all ok. We have wars of all kinds going on around us. We have people scared, suffering and wondering what craziness will we face next. 

The extreme right agrees with all the hate, meanness, illegal activity..the rest of us whether moderate or left sit and wonder what’s happening to us. What will happen to us and those we love.

I struggle to the see good and benefit from anything happening right now. How far will all this go before we, as a nation say “enough”. 

Even in my small podunk town racial profiling is very real. A Native American woman was detained for over 30 minutes while officers checked the legitimacy of her Indian card(CBID). Never in my lifetime did I think I’d see this. How far will it go? Who will be profiled next? I’m scared.

How long will we allow this to happen? So many questions linger in my mind. So many are struggling right now. Unable to sleep, unable to eat, unable to grasp what is happening. 

But I believe the goal is chaos and confusion. Those two things make the masses easy to control. We must be vigilant in our research to be sure we receive the truth. 

I’ve had to cut ties with loved ones, friends and family alike that simply refuse to see what’s right in front of them. I just can’t trust them anymore. The less they know about me and my life the better. It’s terrible sad it has to be like this. 

I have never been more terrified of what’s happening in our country than I am right now. I cannot wrap my brain around how so many don’t understand it. They are complicit in all of this. I ask myself what it’s going to take for them to see it. And the reality is, many never will. All dictators have supporters. No matter how brutal they are, there are those that support them and that’s absolutely horrifying to me.

My heart is heavy, my eyes are red from tears. I’m beyond exhausted from all this. But I must keep going. WE must keep going. I have to have hope. I have to have faith that Congress will at some point say enough is enough and stop this insanity! If they don’t…..I can’t bring myself to think about it right now!

For now, I will continue to stay alert and vigilant. I will do my best to support those feeling the same way. I will continue to allow myself to feel what I feel. I will continue to document these turbulent times here on my blog. 

Until next time…

THL


Sunday, February 2, 2025

Choices

All of our lives are a series of choices. From the richest of the rich to the poorest of the poor. Each and everyday our life is full of making choices.

Each choice we make either directly or indirectly affects other people. I don’t think we give that idea enough thought!  Most make their choices based on their own biases, convictions, likes, dislikes, and they convince themselves how things are based on how they want them to be.

Others of us, typically overthinkers, consider others in our choices. How will my choice affect others. We too have personal convictions, likes, dislikes but rather than convincing ourselves things are the way we want them to be we study, read, watch, listen and learn. If we don’t understand something we research. We don’t listen to one news source or only those that are our “pet podcasters” or who we identify with. We really do dig deep. We want to understand every aspect of the situation. Then and only then do we make a decision. It is an informed one. You can be assured anything we believe didn’t come just seeing a post on Facebook! We have throughly researched and are confident in our findings. 

For years we tried and tried to tell DT supporters what he was, what was going to happen, how it would hurt them…it fell on deaf ears. Now, many are like oh man! We fucked up, I don’t think he would really do it, I thought he was just running his mouth! No sympathy! None, nada, zilch! YOU have caused great pain to many people..YOUR actions, YOUR choice has caused all of this…sadly the worst is yet to come. Just wait…just wait! I hope if and when we ever get out of this mess you realize how your choices affect millions of people in negatives ways!


Tuesday, January 28, 2025

My babies!

To view all current and past post, click “home” at the bottom of this post! 

My bottle babies! They are doing really well! They are my heart! They are golden gurnsey x Nigerian dwarf.


My heart is grateful

Owning a homestead is never boring! Seems there’s always something going on. I’ve been bottle feeding 2 goats kids for 3 weeks. They are doing great, growing and gaining weight steadily. They are kinda/sorta, lol, nibbling on hay. 

This morning I was still in bed when I heard a commotion in the house and baby goats hollering, upon opening my eyes, confused I thought, oh no! Those babies jumped from the play pen and dogs are chasing them. I jumped from bed, half asleep to see farm man carrying more little ones. They were very newly born and the temp is cold here. So he made the decision to bring them in. I promptly got some colostrum down them and got them warmed as they were very cold. 

While I’m not looking forward to feeding 2 more, this IS life on a homestead. I’m grateful to have the knowledge I have to care for these babies. 

Animals help me so much. I wrote yesterday about feeling so down, these animals give me a reason to keep going. I have really lost my faith in humanity these past few months. I have retreated to the homestead more and more. I leave only when absolutely necessary to do so. I am perfectly content here with my animals, soon I’ll be planting seeds starting them for my spring garden. Plans are being made to build a big goat barn this spring, our herd has out grown the little shed we have. Time to build a nice barn with kidding and milking stalls. 

Making plans and dealing with babies gives me a much needed break from all that’s going on in the world. When I am holding a baby critter all in my world seems right. For a moment my fear is gone, my anxiety is diminished..I feel peace and safe. 

I enjoy taking care of critters. It gives me purpose and somehow rights all the wrongs temporarily. Maybe it’s because I feel needed, wanted, loved….maybe it’s because it’s a gift be able to care for another living thing. Perhaps it’s because you know you are a tiny part of a much bigger picture of life’s cycle. 

This little farm has healed so much in me. Given me hope, brought me joy, and fosters a deep sense of peace in my soul. These next few years will be trying to say the least…I keep reminding my self to remember the day we found this piece of land, when I stepped out of the truck, my right foot touched the ground and heard I boldly the words, “this place is safe”. How I quickly forget those words in the middle of a panic attack or fear. 

I am struggling, I admit it. I’m scared, I’m angry, I’m confused. I need this place to help keep me grounded and somewhat balanced. Maybe this place needs me just as much to care for it. We are stewards of the mother(earth)…we have done a poor job caring for her. Maybe that’s what this is all about…what lessons are we being taught in all this hatred and chaos? Maybe some of us have already learned the lesson, the lesson of choosing love over hate, understanding over opinion, equal over unequal, choice or force. Those that haven’t are not going to learn it and it’s going to be ugly. 

Whatever the reason we are all here, living through these tumultuous times, I am so very grateful to be surrounded by people that understand. I’m thankful to have these little ones to keep me grounded…I humbled that I have been chosen to care for them to the best of my ability. My heart is grateful.

Until next time…

Peace, love & light!. 

☮️❤️💡

The 2 smaller are todays baby’s 

Thursday, January 16, 2025

Peace, Joy & Mindfulness

Chatting with a friend a few days ago I shared pictures of  the newest kids born here. Moms udder and tests were to large for the kids to successfully nurse so I had to pull them and bottle feed. We also have chickens and a couple of rabbits along with a few dogs that we breed. Our lives are really about critters. Has been for 25 years. 

My friend made the comment “animals dictate your life”. 

I’ve thought about that comment because it’s not the first time it’s been said in some shape or form. Farm man’s dad has never understood our chosen lifestyle.  The key word is “chosen”. We chose this lifestyle intentionally. It is what we wanted to do knowing it’s not the most popular or easiest. We give up vacations, sometimes holidays with family to be here because we have babies due to enter the world. 

Why would someone choose this? I can’t speak for everyone but I can speak for myself and farm man.

Back in 2000 farm man and I lost 9 people in less than a year to death. Some were older some were very young, like in their 30’s. It was a time of reflection. I was devastated because one we lost was my grandma. I decided at that time the life we were living was not what I really wanted. Farm man had always wanted the country life but here we were chasing the “American dream”. We worked long hours, had 2 cars payments, a mortgage, a little brick home in the suburbs…but we weren’t fulfilled. We were hurting. So began our homesteading journey…

This lifestyle has saved me in many ways. I’ve had a lot of hurt in my life. I learned very early into this lifestyle taking care of another life was healing. Watching new life come into the world was a miracle very few appreciate. Animals are healing. They teach us love, compassion, trust, and the value of all life not just ours. 

I learned animals love unconditionally and will never betray you. They give it all, sometimes even their life to feed you. 

The truth is this way of life is in my bones. It’s who I am! Who I want to be. I am not one that wants to travel, shop or be away from home. 

In all honestly this farm doesn’t dictate my life as much as working “for the man” does. I have no one telling me to  be at a certain place, at a certain time. No one tells me to record my time so they can see how many hours I worked making them rich. That makes you a slave. You are making someone else rich and they pay you just enough to ease their conscious and make you feel ok about being a slave…lol…once in awhile they’ll pay you a bit more to keep you coming back! At the end of the week or biweekly they reward you with just enough money to keep you in their good graces working your ass off to make them rich! Nahhhh…not for me!

We, farm man I chose this life. We are taking care of ourselves. Farm man is self employed. He sets his own hours, all the money he makes is his minus taxes. We aren’t  working to make the CEO wealthy while we barely survive. Our reward isn’t a piece of paper with some numbers on it…no! Our reward is knowing what we’ve built from the ground up! Literally! And all that we have accomplished! It’s knowing we can take care of ourselves. It’s knowing we won’t go hungry! It’s knowing where our food comes from, what’s in it and how it was raised/ grown. It’s not about anything else.

So, while there are times animals”dictate my life”, be assured I don’t mind and these animals give me far more than any human ever has. This life is absolutely not for everyone. That’s ok! But it is for us. 

It’s not easy, we get tired, we re-evaluate our life from time to time. We’re getting older and know we can’t do this forever. I don’t look forward to the day that decision has to made. It will crush me. 

We are doing exactly what we want to do, living the life we chose. In reality we are dictating our own life …90% of the population work for someone else for scraps! 

Statistics show only 10% of the population is self employed. So the other 90% is being dictated to. They are told when to get out of bed, where to be, when to be there, how long to stay, when to go home. They are dictated to how much their “master” thinks their time is worth. 

For us though, we set our own wage. We decide how much our product or time is worth. We are fair not only ourselves but to our consumer.

So in closing I want to say! Our life isn’t easy, we face many challenges. We have success and we experience failure. We have times of great elation with our animals and times of deep sorrow. We face unexpected expenses. We spend  lot of money to do what do. Feeding critters is not cheap. Maintenance on a farm is alot, it can be costly both in time and money. But I will say I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. The peace, joy and satisfaction it brings is absolutely priceless! 

This place has saved me. It has given me joy and purpose. It has taught me about the sanctity of life. It has taught me unconditional love and given me peace. It has helped me to realize not all of life is painful or sad. There is much good, beauty and happiness to be found. I’ve learned not all of life is going to hurt you. I’ve learned I am worthy to be loved. I’ve learned the beauty in living by the seasons and understanding natures cycles and how we can benefit from them. I’ve learned there’s as much beauty in the beginning of life as in its ending. I’ve learned this life really is give and take, in equal parts. But I’ve mostly learned, I’ve got much more to learn.

So, no! animals don’t really dictate my life…they have allowed me to have a life I’m not sure I would’ve had otherwise. They have truly given my life meaning and added purpose that I would’ve never had otherwise. I’m not sure I’d still be here if it weren’t for my farm. This place is my sanctuary, my peace, my heart and soul. There is no dictating here…only peace, joy and mindfulness.

Until next time…

Tuesday, January 14, 2025

More new kids!

Another mom had kids today. Her teats are so huge the kids can’t nurse, they so large I can’t even milk her. While this breed gives massive amounts of milk they have extremely poor udders making milking next to impossible. Hoping since the kids are crossed with Nigerian dwarfs that helps give better udders/teats. Anyway, here are the kids. A buckling and a doeling.






Sunday, January 12, 2025

New kids on the block!

 New life is always so exciting! I absolutely love baby’s of any kind. We added to the homestead last night! 2 little bucklings! 




Saturday, January 11, 2025

Absolutely Terrifying

THE ARMY OF GOD COMES OUT OF THE SHADOWS

Tens of millions of American Christians are embracing a charismatic movement known as the New Apostolic Reformation, which seeks to destroy the secular state.


By Stephanie McCrummen


On the thursday night after Donald Trump won the presidential election, an obscure but telling celebration unfolded inside a converted barn off a highway stretching through the cornfields of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. The place was called Gateway House of Prayer, and it was not exactly a church, and did not exactly fit into the paradigms of what American Christianity has typically been. Inside, there were no hymnals, no images of Jesus Christ, no parables fixed in stained glass. Strings of lights hung from the rafters. A huge map of the world covered one wall. On the others were seven framed bulletin boards, each representing a theater of battle between the forces of God and Satan—government, business, education, family, arts, media, and religion itself. Gateway House of Prayer, it turned out, was a kind of war room. And if its patrons are to be believed, at least one person, and at peak times dozens, had been praying every single minute of every single day for more than 15 years for the victory that now seemed at hand. God was winning. The Kingdom was coming.


“Hallelujah!” said a woman arriving for the weekly 7 o’clock “government watch,” during which a group of 20 or so volunteers sits in a circle and prays for God’s dominion over the nation.


“Now the work begins!” a man said.

“We have to fight, fight, fight!” a grandmother said as they began talking about how a crowd at Trump’s election watch party had launched into the hymn “How Great Thou Art.”


“They were singing that!” another man said.

Yes, people replied; they had seen a video of the moment. As the mood in the barn became ever more jubilant, the grandmother pulled from her purse a shofar, a hollowed-out ram’s horn used during Jewish services. She blew, understanding that the sound would break through the atmosphere, penetrate the demonic realm, and scatter the forces of Satan, a supernatural strike for the Kingdom of God. A woman fell to the floor.


“Heaven and Earth are coming into alignment!” a man declared. “The will of heaven is being done on Earth.”


What was happening in the barn in Lancaster County did not represent some fringe of American Christianity, but rather what much of the faith is becoming. A shift is under way, one that scholars have been tracking for years and that has become startlingly visible with the rise of Trumpism. At this point, tens of millions of believers—about 40 percent of American Christians, including Catholics, according to a recent Denison University survey—are embracing an alluring, charismatic movement that has little use for religious pluralism, individual rights, or constitutional democracy. It is mystical, emotional, and, in its way, wildly utopian. It is transnational, multiracial, and unapologetically political. Early leaders called it the New Apostolic Reformation, or NAR, although some of those same leaders are now engaged in a rebranding effort as the antidemocratic character of the movement has come to light. And people who have never heard the name are nonetheless adopting the movement’s central ideas. These include the belief that God speaks through modern-day apostles and prophets. That demonic forces can control not only individuals, but entire territories and institutions. That the Church is not so much a place as an active “army of God,” one with a holy mission to claim the Earth for the Kingdom as humanity barrels ever deeper into the End Times.


Although the secular establishment has struggled to take all of this seriously, Trump has harnessed this apocalyptic energy to win the presidency twice.


If you were curious why Tucker Carlson, who was raised Episcopalian, recently spoke of being mauled in his sleep by a demon, it may be because he is absorbing the language and beliefs of this movement. If you were questioning why Elon Musk would bother speaking at an NAR church called Life Center in Harrisburg, it is because Musk surely knows that a movement that wants less government and more God works well with his libertarian vision. If you wanted to know why there were news stories about House Speaker Mike Johnson, a Southern Baptist, displaying a white flag with a green pine tree and the words an appeal to heavenoutside his office, or the same flag being flown outside the vacation home of Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, a Catholic, the reason is that the Revolutionary War–era banner has become the battle flag for a movement with ideological allies across the Christian right. The NAR is supplying the ground troops to dismantle the secular state.


And if you are wondering where all of this is heading now that Trump has won the presidency, I was wondering the same thing. That is why I was sitting in the circle at Gateway House of Prayer, where, about 20 minutes into the evening, I got my first clue. People had welcomed me warmly. I had introduced myself as a reporter for The Atlantic. I was taking notes on Earth-heaven alignment when a woman across from me said, “Your writers have called us Nazis.”


She seemed to be referring to an article that had compared Trump’s rhetoric to Hitler’s. I said what I always say, which is that I was there to understand. I offered my spiritual bona fides—raised Southern Baptist, from Alabama. The woman continued: “It’s an editorial board that is severely to the left and despises the Trump movement.” A man sitting next to me came to my defense. “We welcome you,” he said, but it was clear something was off, and that something was me. The media had become a demonic stronghold. The people of God needed to figure out whether I was a tool of Satan, or possibly whether I had been sent by the Almighty.


“I personally feel like if you would like to stay with us, then I would ask if we could lay hands on you and pray,” a woman said.


“We won’t hurt you,” another woman said.

“We just take everything to God,” a woman sitting next to me said. “Don’t take it personally.”


The praying began, and I waited for the judgment.

how all of this came to be is a story with many starting points, the most immediate of which is Trump himself. In the lead-up to the 2016 election, establishment leaders on the Christian right were backing candidates with more pious pedigrees than Trump’s. He needed a way to rally evangelicals, so he turned to some of the most influential apostles and prophets of the NAR, a wilder world where he was cast as God’s “wrecking ball” and embraced by a fresh pool of so-called prophecy voters, people long regarded as the embarrassing riffraff of evangelical Christianity. But the DNA of that moment goes back further, to the Cold War, Latin America, and an iconoclastic seminary professor named C. Peter Wagner.


He grew up in New York City during the Great Depression, and embraced a conservative version of evangelical Christianity when he was courting his future wife. They became missionaries in Bolivia in the 1950s and ’60s, when a wave of Pentecostalism was sweeping South America, filling churches with people who claimed that they were being healed, and seeing signs and wonders that Wagner initially dismissed as heresy. Much of this fervor was being channeled into social-justice movements taking hold across Latin America. Che Guevara was organizing in Bolivia. The civil-rights movement was under way in the United States. Ecumenical organizations such as the World Council of Churches were embracing the theology of liberation, emphasizing ideas such as the social sin of inequality and the need for justice not in heaven but here and now.


In the great postwar competition for hearts and minds, conservative American evangelicals—and the CIA, which they sometimes collaborated with—needed an answer to ideas they saw as dangerously socialist. Wagner, by then the general director of the Andes Evangelical Mission, rose to the occasion. In 1969, he took part in a conference in Bogotá, Colombia, sponsored by the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association that aimed to counter these trends. He wrote a book—Latin American Theology: Radical or Evangelical?—which was handed out to all participants, and which argued that concern with social issues “may easily lead to serving mammon rather than serving God.” Liberation theology was a slippery slope to hell.


After that, Wagner became a professor at Fuller Theological Seminary, teaching in the relatively experimental field of church growth. He began revisiting his experience in Bolivia, deciding that the overflowing churches he’d seen were a sign that the Holy Spirit was working in the world. He was also living in the California of the 1970s, when new religions and cults and a more freewheeling, independent, charismatic Christianity were proliferating, a kind of counter-counterculture. Droves of former hippies were being baptized in the Pacific in what became known as the Jesus People movement. Preachers such as John Wimber, a singer in the band that turned into the Righteous Brothers, were casting out demons before huge crowds. In the ’80s, a group of men in Missouri known as the Kansas City Prophets believed they were restoring the gift of prophecy, understanding this to be God’s natural way of talking to people.


Wagner met a woman named Cindy Jacobs, who understood herself to be a prophet, and believed that the “principalities” and “powers” mentioned in the Book of Ephesians were actually “territorial spirits” that could be defeated through “spiritual warfare.” She and others formed prayer networks targeting the “10/40 window”—a geographic rectangle between the latitudes of 10 and 40 degrees north that included North Africa, the Middle East, and other parts of Asia that were predominantly Muslim, Buddhist, and Hindu.


Wagner also became captivated by a concept called dominionism, a major conceptual shift that had been emerging in conservative theological circles. At the time, the prevailing view was that God’s mandate for Christians was simple evangelism, person by person; the Kingdom would come later, after the return of Jesus Christ, and meanwhile, the business of politics was, as the Bible verse goes, rendered unto Caesar. The new way of thinking was that God was calling his people to establish the Kingdom now. To put it another way, Christians had marching orders—a mandate for aggressive social and institutional transformation. The idea had deep roots in a movement called Christian 

Reconstructionism, whose serious thinkers—most prominently a Calvinist theologian named R. J. Rushdoony—were spending their lives working out the details of what a government grounded in biblical laws would look like, a model for a Christian theocracy.


By 1996, Wagner and a group of like-minded colleagues were rolling these ideas into what they were calling the New Apostolic Reformation, a term meant to evoke their conviction that a fresh outpouring of the Holy Spirit was moving around the globe, endowing believers with supernatural power and the authority to battle demonic forces and establish God’s Kingdom on Earth. The NAR vision was not technically conservative but radical: 


Constructing the Kingdom meant destroying the secular state with equal rights for all, and replacing it with a system in which Christianity is supreme. As a practical matter, the movement put the full force of God on the side of free-market capitalism. In that sense, Wagner and his colleagues had found the answer to liberation theology that they’d been seeking for decades.


By last year, 42 percent of American Christians agreed with the statement “God wants Christians to stand atop the ‘7 Mountains of Society.’”


Wagner, who died in 2016, wrote dozens of additional books with titles such as Dominion! and Churchquake! The movement allowed Christianity to be changed and updated, embracing the idea that God was raising new apostles and prophets who could not only interpret ancient scripture but deliver “fresh words” and dreams from heaven on a rolling, even daily basis. One of Wagner’s most talented acolytes, a preacher named Lance Wallnau, repackaged the concept of dominionism into what he popularized as the “7 Mountain Mandate,” essentially an action plan for how Christians could dominate the seven spheres of life—government, education, media, and the four others posted on the walls like targets at Gateway House of Prayer.


What happened next is the story of these ideas spreading far and wide into an American culture primed to accept them. Churches interested in growing found that the NAR formula worked, delivering followers a sense of purpose and value in the Kingdom. Many started hosting “7M” seminars and offering coaching and webinars, which often drew wealthy businesspeople into the fold. After the 2016 election, a group of the nation’s ultra-wealthy conservative Christians organized as an invitation-only charity called Ziklag, a reference to the biblical city where David found refuge during his war against King Saul. According to an investigation by ProPublica, the group stated in internal documents that its purpose was to “take dominion over the Seven Mountains.” Wallnau is an adviser.


By last year, 42 percent of American Christians agreed with the statement “God wants Christians to stand atop the ‘7 Mountains of Society,’ ” according to Paul Djupe, a Denison University political scientist who has been developing new surveys to capture what he and others describe as a “fundamental shift” in American Christianity. Roughly 61 percent agreed with the statement that “there are modern-day apostles and prophets.” Roughly half agreed that “there are demonic ‘principalities’ and ‘powers’ who control physical territory,” and that the Church should “organize campaigns of spiritual warfare and prayer to displace high-level demons.”


Overall, Djupe told me, the nation continues to become more secular. In 1991, only 6 percent of Americans identified as nonreligious, a figure that is now about 30 percent. But the Christians who remain are becoming more radical.


“They are taking on these extreme beliefs that give them a sense of power—they believe they have the power to change the nature of the Earth,” Djupe said. “The adoption of these sort of beliefs is happening incredibly fast.”


The ideas have seeped into Trumpworld, influencing the agenda known as Project 2025, as well as proposals set forth by the America First Policy Institute. A new book called Unhumans, co-authored by the far-right conspiracy theorist Jack Posobiec and endorsed by J. D. Vance, describes political opponents as “unhumans” who want to “undo civilization itself” and who currently “run operations in media, government, education, economy, family, religion, and arts and entertainment”—the seven mountains. The book argues that these “unhumans” must be “crushed.”


“Our study of history has brought us to this conclusion: Democracy has never worked to protect innocents from the unhumans,” the authors write. “It is time to stop playing by rules they won’t.”


my own frame of reference for what evangelical Christianity looked like was wooden pews, the ladies’ handbell choir, and chicken casseroles for the homebound. The Southern Baptists of my childhood had no immediate reason to behave like insurgents. They had dominated Alabama for decades, mostly blessing the status quo. When I got an assignment a few years ago to write about why evangelicals were still backing Trump, I mistakenly thought that the Baptists were where the action was on the Christian right. I was working for The Washington Post then, and like many journalists, commentators, and researchers who study religion, I was far behind.


Where I ended up one Sunday in 2021 was a church in Fort Worth, Texas, called Mercy Culture. Roughly 1,500 people were streaming through the doors for one of four weekend services, one of which was in Spanish. Ushers offered earplugs. A store carried books about spiritual warfare. Inside the sanctuary, the people filling the seats were white, Black, and brown; they were working-class and professionals and unemployed; they were former drug addicts and porn addicts and social-media addicts; they were young men and women who believed their homosexual tendencies to be the work of Satan. I met a young woman who told me she was going to Montana to “prophesy over the land.” I met a young man contemplating a future as a missionary, who told me, “If I have any choice, I want to die like the disciples.” They had the drifty air of hippies, but their counterculture was pure Kingdom.


They faced a huge video screen showing swirling stars, crashing waves, and apocalyptic images, including a mushroom cloud. A digital clock was counting down, and when it hit zero, a band—keyboard, guitars, drums—began blasting music that reminded you of some pop song you couldn’t quite place, from some world you’d left behind when you came through the doors. Lights flashed. Machine-made fog drifted through the crowd. People waved colored flags, calling the Holy Spirit in for a landing. Cameras swooped around, zooming in on a grown man crying and a woman lying prostrate, praying. Eventually, the pastor, a young man in skinny jeans, came onstage and demon-mapped the whole city of Fort Worth. The west side was controlled by the principality of Greed, the north by the demonic spirit of Rebellion; the south belonged to Lust. He spoke of surrendering to God’s laws. And at one point, he endorsed a Church elder running for mayor, describing the campaign as “the beginning of a righteous movement.”


Walking across the bleak, hot parking lot to my rental car afterward, I could understand how people were drawn into their realm. After that, I started seeing the futuristic world of the NAR all over the place. Sprawling megachurches outside Atlanta, Phoenix, and Harrisburg with Broadway-level production values; lower-budget operations in strip malls and the husks of defunct traditional churches. Lots of screens, lots of flags. 


Conferences with names like Open the Heavens. A training course called Vanquish Academy where people could learn “advanced prophetic weaponry” and “dream intelligence.” Schools such as Kingdom University, in Tennessee, where students can learn their “Kingdom Assignment.” In a way, the movement was a world with its own language. People spoke of convergence and alignment and demon portals and whether certain businesses were Kingdom or not.


In 2023, I met a woman who believed that her Kingdom assignment was to buy an entire mountain for God, and did. It is in northwestern Pennsylvania, and she lives on top of it with her husband. They are always finding what she called “God signs,” such as feathers on the porch. Like many in the movement, she didn’t attend church very often. But every day, she followed online prophets and apostles such as Dutch Sheets, an acolyte of Wagner’s who has hundreds of thousands of followers and is known for interpreting dreams.


In 2016, Sheets began embracing prophecies that God was using Trump, telling fellow prophets and apostles that his victory would bring “new levels of demonic desperation.” In the aftermath of the 2020 election, Sheets began releasing daily prophetic updates called Give Him 15, casting Trump’s attempt to steal the election as a great spiritual battle against the forces of darkness. In the days before the insurrection, Sheets described a dream in which he was charging on horseback to the U.S. Capitol to stand for the Kingdom. Although he was not in Washington, D.C., on January 6, many of his followers were, some carrying the appeal to heaven flag he’d popularized. Others from Wagner’s old inner circle were there too. Wallnau streamed live from near the U.S. Capitol that day and, that night, from the Trump International Hotel. Cindy Jacobs conducted spiritual warfare just outside the Capitol as rioters were smashing their way inside, telling her followers that the Lord had given her a vision “that they would break through and go all the way to the top.” In his most recent book, The Violent Take It by Force, the scholar Matthew Taylor details the role that major NAR leaders played that day, calling them “the principal theological architects” of the insurrection.


Faith leaders, including major figures in the New Apostolic Reformation movement, pray with Donald Trump at the White House in 2019. 


At the Pennsylvania statehouse, I met an apostle named Abby Abildness, whom I came to understand as a kind of Kingdom diplomat. It was the spring of 2023, and she had recently returned from Iraqi Kurdistan, where she had met with Kurdish leaders she believed to be descended from King Solomon, and who she said wanted “holy governance to go forth.”


I watched YouTube videos of prophets broadcasting from their basements. I watched a streaming show called FlashPoint, where apostles and prophets deliver news from God; guests have included Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, because another dimension of the NAR is that the movement is a prominent advocate of Christian Zionism.


I came to understand how the movement amounts to a sprawling political machine. The apostles and prophets, speaking for God, decide which candidates and policies advance the Kingdom. The movement’s prayer networks and newsletters amount to voter lists and voter guides. A growing ecosystem of podcasts and streaming shows such as FlashPointamounts to a Kingdom media empire. And the overall vision of the movement means that people are not engaged just during election years but, like the people at Gateway House of Prayer, 24/7.

Read: This just in from heaven


As November’s election neared, I watched the whole juggernaut crank into action to return Trump to the White House. Wallnau, in partnership with the Trump-aligned America First Policy Institute, promoted an effort called Project 19, targeting voters in 19 swing counties. He also launched something called the Courage Tour, which similarly targeted swing states, and I attended one event in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. It looked like an old-fashioned tent revival, except that it was also an aggressive pro-Trump mobilization effort. Wallnau dabbed frankincense oil onto foreheads, anointing voters into God’s army. Another speaker said that Kamala Harris would be a “devil in the White House.” Others cast Democrats as agents of Lucifer, and human history as a struggle between the godless forces of secular humanism and God’s will for humankind.


A march called “A Million Women” on the National Mall drew tens of thousands of people and culminated with the smashing of an altar representing demonic strongholds in America. With the Capitol dome as their backdrop, people took turns bashing the altar as music surged and others prayed, and when it was rubble, the prophet Lou Engle declared, “We’re going to point to the north, south, and east, and west, and command America! The veil has been ripped!”


The NAR movement was a major source of the “low-propensity voters” who backed Trump. Frederick Clarkson, a senior research analyst with Political Research Associates, which tracks antidemocratic movements, has been documenting the rise of the NAR for years, and warning about its theocratic goals. He believes that a certain condescension, and perhaps failure of imagination, has kept outsiders from understanding what he has come to see as the most significant religious movement of the 21st century, and one that poses a profound threat to democracy.

“Certain segments of society have not been willing to understand where these people are coming from,” Clarkson told me. “For me, it’s part of the story of our times. It’s a movement that has continued to rise, gathered political strength, attracted money, built institutions. And the broad center-left doesn’t understand what’s happening.”


which leaves the question of what happens now.

The movement certainly aligns with many goals of the Christian right: a total abortion ban, an end to gay marriage and LGBTQ rights. Traditional family is the fundamental unit of God’s perfect order. In theory, affirmative action, welfare programs, and other social-justice measures would be unnecessary because in the Kingdom, as Abildness, the Pennsylvania apostle, and her husband once explained to me, there is no racism and no identity other than child of God. “Those that oppose us think we are dangerous,” her husband told me, describing a vision of life governed by God’s will. “But this is better for everyone. There wouldn’t be homelessness. We’d be caring for each other.”


Matthew Taylor told me he sees the movement merging seamlessly into “the MAGA blob,” with the prophets and apostles casting whatever Trump does as part of God’s plan, and rebuking any dissent. “It’s the synchronization with Trump that is most alarming,” he said. “The agenda now is Trump. And that’s how populist authoritarianism works. It starts out as a coalition, as a shotgun marriage, and eventually the populism and authoritarianism takes over.”


Read: My father, my faith, and Donald Trump

In another sense, the movement has never been about policies or changes to the law; it’s always been about the larger goal of dismantling the institutions of secular government to clear the way for the Kingdom. It is about God’s total victory.


“Buckle up, buttercup!” Wallnau said on his podcast shortly after the election. “Because you’re going to be watching a whole new redefinition of what the reformation looks like as Christians engage every sector of society. Christ is not quarantined any longer. We’re going into all the world.”


On the day after the election, I went to Life Center, the NAR church where Elon Musk had spoken a couple of weeks earlier. The mood was jubilant. A pastor spoke of “years of oppression” and said that “we are at a time on the other side of a victory for our nation that God alone—that God alone—orchestrated for us.”


The music pounded, and people cheered, and after that, a prominent prophet named Joseph Garlington delivered a sermon. He was a guest speaker, and he offered what sounded like the first hint of dissent I’d heard in a long time. He talked about undocumented immigrants and asked people to consider whether it might be possible that God was sending them to the U.S. so they could build the Kingdom.


“What if they are part of the harvest?” he said. “He didn’t send us to them; maybe he’s sending them to us.”

It was a striking moment. Life Center, Mercy Culture, and many other churches in the movement have large numbers of Latinos in their congregations. In 2020, Trump kicked off his outreach to evangelical voters at a Miami megachurch called El Rey Jesús, headed by a prominent Honduran American apostle named Guillermo Maldonado. I wondered how the apostles and prophets would react to the mass deportations Trump had proposed. Garlington continued that Trump was “God’s choice,” but that the election was just one battle in the ultimate struggle. He told people that it’s “time for war,” language I kept hearing in other NAR circles even after the election. He told people to prepare to lose friends and family as the Kingdom of God marched on in the days ahead. He told them to separate from the wicked.


“You’ll be happy with the changes God brings,” a woman reassured me. “You’ll be happy.”


“If you’ve got a child and he says, ‘Come and let us go serve other gods,’ go tell on him. Tell them, ‘I’ve got a kid who is saying we need to serve other gods. Can you help me kill him?’ ” Garlington said he wasn’t being literal about the last part. “But you need to rebuke them,” he said. “You need to say, ‘Honey, if you keep on that path, there’s a place reserved in hell for you.’ ”


This was also a theme the next day at Gateway House of Prayer, where I waited to learn my own fate, as people began praying in tongues and free-forming in English as the Holy Spirit gave them words.


“We’re asking for a full overturning in the media,” a man said. “We’re asking for all the media to turn away from being propagandists to being truth tellers.”

“Their eyes need to be opened,” a woman said. “They don’t know God at all. They think they know all these things because they’re so educated and worldly. But they do not see God … And that’s what we need. The harvest.”

“The reformation,” the grandmother added.

“The reformation,” the woman said.


At one point, a man questioned me: “The whole world knows The Atlanticis a left-wing, Marxist-type publication. Why would you choose to go and work there?” At another point, the group leader defended me: “I feel the Lord has called her to be a truth seeker.” At another point, the grandmother spoke of a prophecy she’d heard recently about punishment for the wicked. “There are millstones being made in Heaven,” she said. “Straight up. There’s millstones.” Another woman spoke of “God’s angry judgment” for the disobedient.


“There’s a lot of people that are going to change their minds,” a man said.


“You’ll be happy with the changes God brings,” a woman reassured me. “You’ll be happy.”


This went on for a while. I wasn’t sure where it was going until the leader of the group decided that I should leave. She could not have been nicer about it. She spoke of God’s absolute love, and absolute truth, and absolute justice, and then I headed for the door.


A few women followed me into the lobby, apologizing that it had come to this. They were sorry for me, as believers in the movement were sorry for all of the people who were lost and confused by this moment in America—the doubters, the atheists, the gay people, Muslims, Buddhists, Democrats, journalists, and all the godless who had not yet submitted to what they knew to be true. The Kingdom was here, and the only question was whether you were in, or out.