She makes sense!

 

Stay Alert-Stay vigilant…

I’m a bit better…still feeling down but not quite as bad. I

think I’ve just come to place of there’s nothing I can do…I will just continue to watch the clownish shit show play out…I will continue to tell those that chose this I hope they get exactly what they voted for…lol..funny though, it seems to anger them…kinda like they have regrets….lol…oh well! You did it! Unfortunately those of us that didn’t have to suffer as well, but we will make it! 

I will continue to stay away from those that wanted this…I can’t bring myself to be around them. I’m not going to my family’s thanksgiving dinner this year…I just can’t bear the thought of being around them knowing they betrayed my grandkids…it’s unconscionable to me.

I will instead spend it with my kids and grandkids the weekend before and let them know they are loved and accepted no matter what. They are good, decent, intelligent, empathetic human beings and I’m proud to be their mom and nana. 

Thanksgiving day I will cook a dinner for farm man and I. We will spend a quiet day at home and be grateful for what we have and what we have accomplished. 

It’s hard, it’s really hard…the pain is real…I know we will all be ok…or at least I hope…we will get through this..we may have battle scars at the end, but we will stand firm in our convictions throughout the battle. Sometimes we have to lose a few battles to finally win the war! 

I will continue to get better…I will continue to stand firm in my beliefs. I will continue to stay away from those that cannot respect those different from them. I will continue to stay away from those that support a rapist, pedofile, serial cheater, wanna be dictator, xenophobic, homophobic clown that is making a mockery of this country. I will also continue to remind them this is what they wanted. 

I will eventually gain my footing and find my center again…right now I’m angry, hurt and sad…it won’t last forever…I understand hanging onto these feelings only hurts me…I equally understand accepting policies that harm others is wrong as well. We cannot and should not accept laws and policies that harm others. Those that do, they are not going to be in my life.

I am better…I will continue to get better…I don’t want to continue to feel the way I do. I feel disassociated and disconnected…like in a fog…like living in a dream. Today, I am better…tomorrow I will be even better...I’m working through all the feels and fear…

It will take time….but I’ll get there…and you will too…

Stay Alert, Stay strong, stay vigilant…

Until next time..

Hope is all we have

 

I’m beginning to wonder if this feeling of dread and doom will ever end. I’m trying to be positive and look at the best case scenario but it’s not working. I wake in the night with all this on my mind, I’m having nightmares and struggling to eat. I have never felt like this. I keep trying to figure out how and why but answers elude me. Do we try and sell this little farm we’ve worked so hard to build and leave or do we just stay and prepare for the worst?…

I’m a very intuitive person and my intuition is in overdrive right now..the things I’m feeling that we will go through is more than I wanna know…higher inflation than now, high gas prices, high unemployment, another possible pandemic…it’s just a lot. I hope I’m wrong!

I’m trying to stay busy and not think but it’s always there, in the back of mind…this feeling of unrest, sadness, doom, dread and anxiety…it’s exhausting…I’m struggling to find my center, my balance, my footing. I just want to understand..

People, friends & family that I deeply cared for…I feel betrayed…how can a family member vote against their own flesh and blood to not have equal rights? It’s betrayal at the deepest level. Why does everyone care so much how other people live or love? I just don’t understand. I want to, I really want to..but I’m struggling.

I’m so tired…I feel isolation is my only option right now…just communicate with my immediate family that is on the same page…those that aren’t..I really just don’t have it in me to communicate with them. 

I just wish we could turn back time…a time when we had hope and everyone got along…I’m afraid that time is gone forever…at least for the rest of my life. It’s a time of grieving I suppose…the sadness will at some point turn back to happiness, the melancholy will give way to joy, and the tears will cleanse the way to smiles again…at least that’s my hope… hope is really all we have I guess.

Right now hope is what is keeping me going, hope is what motivates me to get out of bed this past week and a half…it’s what I’m clinging too…I’m holding onto hope for dear life…hope that this is really all a bad dream or huge mistake..the hope that it will somehow be just a big joke…I hope for anything other than this being reality.

I watch my oldest daughter struggle to make sense of the fact that this is the world we’re really living in, I’m watching my grand daughter wonder why she’s not allowed to have equal rights to life, love and pursuit of happiness…at 20 she’s wondering what will happen to her and how in the hell some in her own family voted against her rights…my oldest granddaughter is putting off having another baby because she’s scared what could happen if something went wrong with her pregnancy…could she get the care she needed?…this is just surreal to me…I feel like this is not real life! It just can’t be! 

Sigh..but it is real life…and I’m really struggling…if you are as well, I understand…stay strong, stay vigilant and stay watchful. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best!

Until next time…

Stay hopeful!

They are counting on it!

They are counting on your grief and sadness to paralyze you. That is their final move—to break your resolve, your spirit. You will be tested. We all will. And you know what?

We will be midwives to this long and bloody and painful process of birthing what will turn out to be a beautiful world on the other side. 

Taken from “pancakes dinner”. 

**************

We have what appears to be evidence that stimulation of the limbic system en masse will always yield more electorally positive outcomes than stimulating the frontal cortex.

This lesson is not lost on the people who will experience the greatest amount of suffering under these truths, but whether it will be lost on the Americans who aided and abetted one another's individualistic pursuits while MAGA metastasized is yet to be seen.

This is the end of the Republican Party as we know it, the final swipes and strokes and violent bursts of DNA that has plagued our species with the ghosts of ancestors whose thirst to replicate the pain and suffering of their childhoods never did and never will make up for the holes in their adult hearts-no matter how much pain and suffering they inflict. 

There is no solace in hate, no recipe for void-filling. There is only the void, a kind of hollowness inside one's heart, a mirror to the simultaneously horrifying and prescient universe of emptiness we find our little rock we call home hurling through.

We are witnessing the MAGA Spring. There is an end to this, but the end will be built day by day, brick by brick, one courageous step-one breath—at a time. It is fear that captures insecurities, it is ignorance that feeds it, and it is hopelessness that allows it to grow. We must grieve the future that has not come to be, and steel ourselves for the future we find ourselves in. First we grieve—and then we believe.

Compassion is the groundwork; compassion for ourselves and our communities, resolve for one's principles and a heart beating for a world that we know will exist in the future. We must plant trees that will grow and provide shade which we will not enjoy; WE must feel the effects of the rain and hail while we build good shelter for our children and their communities to thrive in. They will grow and become adults. They will have their work of love and light cut out for them, too. We all will, and we all do.

James Baldwin's words are as relevant as ever, now: "Love has never been a popular movement. And no one's ever wanted, really, to be free. The world is held together, really it is held together, by the love and the passion of a very few people. Otherwise, of course, you can despair. Walk down the street of any city, any afternoon, and look around you. 

What you've got to remember is what you're looking at is also you. Everyone you're looking at is also you. You could be that person. You could be that monster, you could be that cop. And you have to decide, in yourself, not to be."

There is clarity going forward in knowing that those who voted for what is to come will get exactly what they voted for-whether they know it or not. The clarity comes from the fact that this is not our lesson to learn. 

“The frightened individual," Erich Fromm wrote in Escape from Freedom, "seeks for somebody or something to tie his self to; he cannot bear to be his own individual self any longer, and he tries frantically to get rid of it and to feel security again by the elimination of this burden: the self."

"Most people are convinced that as long as they are not overtly forced to do something by an outside power, their decisions are theirs, and that if they want something, it is they who want it. But this is one of the great illusions we have about ourselves. A great number of our decisions are not really our own but are suggested to us from the outside; we have succeeded in persuading ourselves that it is we who have made the decision, whereas we have actually conformed with expectations of others, driven by the fear of isolation and by more direct threats to our life, freedom, and comfort."

-Erich Fromm, Escape From Freedom

"When Fascism came into power, most people were unprepared, both theoretically and practically. They were unable to believe that man could exhibit such propensities for evil, such lust for power, such disregard for the rights of the weak, or such yearning for submission. Only a few had been aware of the rumbling of the volcano preceding the outbreak."

-Erich Fromm, Escape From Freedom

"The pathetic superstition prevails that by knowing more and more facts one arrives at knowledge of reality. 

Hundreds of scattered and unrelated facts are dumped into the heads of students; their time and energy are taken up by learning more and more facts so that there is little left for thinking. To be sure, thinking without a knowledge of facts remains empty and fictitious; but "information" alone can be just as much of an obstacle to thinking as the lack of it."

-Erich Fromm, Escape From Freedom

Stay strong

I woke this morning as I have every morning for the past several weeks with a sinking sick feeling in my gut. I keep thinking it will get better, but it doesn’t…I wake in the night frightened for our future…it feels as if everything around me is caving in on me and what last bit of hope I’m clinging to is slowly fading away…it feels surreal…

It’s hard to understand…it’s hard to realize and accept that the society I grew up in, the values I was taught, the morals I was taught…we’re no longer important when a man stepped from show business to politics…people that once said if people are tried and convicted it was a fair trial…that’s all gone now.

My head literally hurts as I try to make it make sense..my brain is tired..I feel like I’m living in some sort of time warp, a different dimension or world..how does this happen?…

Do people really not see it? Are the ignoring all the facts? Are they brainwashed? I really want to know. 

The man is surrounding himself with “yes men” that he hopes won’t buck him in his plan to dismantle our very way of life. And we are ok with it. What happened to us? 

I hope I will eventually be able to get out of this funk..I will be able to move on…maybe…maybe when y’all finally see what’s happening…but then it will be to late…

My despair is something I’ve never felt before…it’s like a dark deep void…it almost feels like all love has left the planet…like something sinister and dark came in, in the wee hours of Nov. 6th  and used a vacuum and sucked all the light and love up and spit back out hate and darkness…it’s a feeling I’ve never had…I don’t have words to describe it honestly. Maybe this is why so many woke collectively that morning…we felt the energy change…we felt the shift in the universe…not sure how to get it back…it feels like a plug has been pulled from its power source and something that was once alive has now died…its an awful feeling…

We must keep going, we must not give into to the hate, anger and darkness…if we do they win..we must find a way to accept what is and fight back with love, acceptance and kindness. It’s our only hope…our only chance…focus on your loved ones that still radiate hope, courage, strength, love and light…the others..let them go. They will bring you down.

Until next time…

Stay strong & be a light

Last one to know

It’s been a really rough few days…letting go is never easy…came across this old song…I remember it well. I’ve come to understand these past few days that some people come into our life for just a moment in time….some stay many seasons and we learn much from them…some are in our life a short season but they too teach us lessons. Some you will fall in love with and others you will love. You will have your heart protected by some, and broken by others…it will not be easy…some will leave you shattered in pieces like glass on the ground…some will come by and pick up those pieces and try to mend the brokenness…there will be ones that will be the first to break your heart and there will be a last to break your heart…maybe all this election stuff is to show us our people…the ones that truly have our hearts and our backs…maybe?…..what I do know is that every person in our life is there to teach us something about ourselves…I’ve been the person in this song…and I held on way to long…maybe after all this time…all the chaos with the election…I’ve seen things more clearly than I ever have…maybe, just maybe this is why things are the way they are…this is a time of understanding ourselves, asking ourselves why we allow things in our lives we shouldn’t, why we overlook the warning signs, what  could we do differently…sometimes others see things in our lives we don’t…often…we are the last ones to know…

 https://youtu.be/Y1YXQvdhSws

Explains a lot!

 

Somethings on the way!

I love how she says she just knew who she needed to be rid of in her life…I knew others felt it too! There was a shift that morning…the only way I can explain it..I too woke up during this time as did both my daughters…something happened that we can’t explain…

Letting go

  

I’ve always said the autumn season is a time of letting go...as we watch the warmth of summer slip into the coolness of the autumn I also notice how gracefully the trees drop their leaves...the leaves will no longer serve them for this next season...I’ve sat outside in recent days, just being still....watching the leaves float gently to the ground in the breeze...the trees let go with such gentleness, yet an unquestioning certainty that this is what they are to do...let go! As a human letting go doesn’t come gracefully…at least for many of us. We don’t give up without lots of tears, yelling, asking why and lots of going over and over things in our heads….then, we finally come to understand, that this is but a season…it may be a season of unrest with many storms, but we trust it’s just a season…and hope we don’t have to weather the storm forever.

I used to be one that gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, but that really came to a complete halt this past week or so...one thing my seclusion on the homestead has taught me is that it’s ok to stay to yourself, but sometimes you must venture out and speak up...keep your circle extremely small, trust no one, what people don’t know they can’t ruin, people pretend to be your friend when it’s just a ruse to get something from you, people say things to you that are snarky then just disappear or pretend “you took it wrong”...or you find they stand and support ideologies that are so far outta step with who you are and what you stand for that you can no longer allow them in your space…these are the signs to Let go!! The season is over and that situation is no longer serving your highest and best good. I’ve had to let many people go this past few days. It’s not easy..I’m hurting…but I can’t, I won’t allow certain things, people or beliefs in my life. If it steals my peace, it must go.  Once you show me who you are, I believe you and act accordingly. 

It’s hard! I think sometimes the universe uses situations that are so trying, so hurtful and so devastating to show us which direction we need to go. We have to let people, things and situations go in order to become better. I fully understand that with time all darkness is illuminated by light. When you are shown the darkness, walk towards light the first time. Don’t wait until darkness rears its ugly head a second time. We must be and do better. We are in a battle…I choose the light..and the light will always win…we must trust the process. 

I am trying to stay focused on fall preparations to be ready for winter...I’m trying to distract myself with projects. I’m taking time to be quiet and take care of myself. Just spending time with those that bring me joy and happiness. Those that want better and will fight for better. Those that protect those that can’t protect themselves. Those that radiate love,unity, peace, joy, happiness and want to be better…I have no room for those that radiate hate, division, chaos, sadness and sow discord. Some will try to say they aren’t like that…that it’s the others are…prove it!  I’d love to see your proof!

So as the quietness of the autumn/winter season takes over the homestead I am realizing it allows much time for reflecting as we are chased indoors from the cooler temperatures....we can reflect on relationships, goals, ourselves and what we would like to change....while I much prefer spring/summer I also admit I find something comforting and nostalgic about sitting in front of a fire, sipping coffee with my favorite magazine or seed catalog...I also enjoy having candles lit to add a bit of warmth to my home and the aroma of fresh baked bread or a pie wafting throughout the house...I will make use of this less busy time to plan for next spring, reflect on all that happened in our country and to reflect on how I can be a better person...we will write out our goals in all areas, projects to complete and simply rest in preparation for the busyness that the spring will bring....

Until next time...

THL

Still processing

As the days have past since the dreadful Election Day I have had time to think..seems that’s all I do…think! I think about how, why, what…it’s never ending…

But one thing I have realized is I am so grateful that the men in my life, my husband, son in law, my grand son in law all voted for the women in their life. We! We were the first and foremost on their minds that day. Our rights as wives, daughters, stepdaughters, grand daughters…we were thought about, cared about and important! 

The men in my life are good ol’ country boys that enjoy the outdoors, enjoy all the guy things, conservative, most republican until a few years ago, they come from conservative Christian families, as do I…BUT! They chose freedom…the freedom for the women in their lives choose. For all women to choose! They believe all law abiding citizens including gays, straights, bi, lesbian, trans etc should have the same rights that they have. That we all have the right to life, liberty and to persue happiness even if it’s goes against your personal convictions. They voted for the right to believe in God or not! I don’t have to agree with someone to allow them to live their life as they want to within the confines of the law of our land.

We all feel the economic hardships we are experiencing…but if y’all would do a bit of homework you’d find out why we have the inflation we have, and it’s not Democrats…just sayin’. lol… I also want to make very clear I was a republican my entire life. Until….until I wasn’t! 

I understand research is hard and boring, but if you want to understand all this it’s a must…we can’t get our information from memes on Facebook or reels on tik tok..you have to dig deep..you have to read, listen, watch and use critical thinking skills. Understand the terms they use, the tatics…on the surface it sounds great! 

But most don’t research, use critical thinking or dig deep…so here we are! Here we are…

Your wife, daughters, granddaughters, nieces, moms even…could die…because they will be unable to access some reproductive care…Hope you feel really good about yourself!

Now, we have groups of men threatening to rape women, saying they’ll be glad to see women raped because “your body, my choice”. Does that make y’all feel manly? See, these types men now feel emboldened to say these things and possibly act on them because the highest office in our land is being run by a pedophile and rapist…congratulations! You did that! Women, you voted for this as well! 

Y’all say it was the economy that really made you do it…hmm..so money is so important to you, that you put a convicted felon in office…a rapist…for money…

Well, guess what…when he slaps his tariffs on China and other places, your prices will go up…yep..please research how tariffs work! I know how they work because in his first term he put them on china and it raised the price of the parts my husband needs to do his job…lol…

This man filed bankruptcy numerous times, yet he’s going to fix the economy?! Got it! Good luck to you..

I’m going back to how grateful I am to the men in my life…I truly am blessed…maybe it took this to get me see it…my husband isn’t perfect, nor is my son in law…but they have shown us that we matter…our rights matter…this country and all our founding fathers fought for…it all matters.

Women, if you read this and your husband voted against your rights…my heart breaks for you. It’s says a lot about where you stand in his life and his character. Please know you are not alone! If divorce is an option do it now before the no fault divorce choice is taken away!

I will never stop fighting for women and girls…our lives matter, our choices matter, the right to bodily autonomy matter…Men! You do not have the right to touch us with out our permission…

Women will now become more empowered than ever. Gun sales will sky rocket…just watch! Be careful who you target men…

We, I will get through this, but I will never get over it. From here I will find my peace again…after I work through my emotions. I, we are preparing for one of the hardest periods our country has ever experienced…when things get really bad…remember, who did this…

This is nothing more than a retribution presidency…he will do nothing for you…he simply wants revenge on those he calls enemy’s! 

Until next time…