I have such a feeling of doom and darkness hanging on…I’m trying to shake it but I’m struggling. There’s been an energy shift….not just with me but I believe globally…while many are celebrating many are not…what we see, feel and know is not worthy of celebration. There’s a dark energy looming. If you don’t feel it…reassess yourself!
I have had to reassess who is in my life and act accordingly be it friend or family. To some this may seem extreme…let me try to explain. If you don’t agree that’s ok and I respect it.
I have worked hard my whole life to find peace…a place where I am ok…a place of quiet, non chaos and no drama…it’s taken me years…many, many years.
I grew up in domestic violence…I was 17 when my parents divorced. So for 17 years I and my siblings were subjected to horrific violence. There were times I thought he was going kill my mom. When I’d try to intervene I’d take the beating. So I’m absolutely no stranger to abuse and chaos. I speak from experience. At 13 I was the victim of sexual assaults by a school teacher…I tried to tell the principal and the superintendent… nothing was done except they called my dad and mom and I got “whipped” for telling lies…so yeah…no one gave 2 shits…earlier in life I was sexually abused as well as my sister. I was in an abusive marriage in my early 20’s. I know these types of men like the back of my own hand.
How does all that tie into to now? We have a man that has assaulted women on multiple occasions…I’ve already mentioned some of the other stuff he’s done..he will now get off freely…no punishment at all…he fixed it so he was immune to prosecution…to the all the women out there that voted for him…you just voted for a big fuck you to women like me! You voted against you’re own rights as a woman! Sigh…my heart weeps.
Friends I cherished, family I loved and respected showed me who they were, what their character is…they showed me whether or not they had integrity and true Christian values not just lip service. I will not and cannot continue to have that kind of energy around me…as I said I have worked many, many years to find my peace from a past of darkness…while I have no choice but to deal with the darkness voted in, I absolutely have a choice what darkness I allow in my daily life, be it in person or online.
I’ve had to unfriended those that I know voted again not just my best interest but theirs as well. I still love them and wish them no harm, but that kind of energy has no place in my life, I cannot make room for that.
I have never felt so helpless as an adult. So angry, confused and sad. My hope is as time goes on those that voted for him will see how duped they’ve been..and yes…y’all were duped. Some, I understand will never see it and I get that too. Problem is, people like me have to live through all this…for god only knows how long.
I and millions like me have no choice but to move forward, somehow, someway…with time we will.
I understand if I stay stuck in this place, the darkness wins. I have hope that in the near future I will find my center again, and find my peace. It’s going to take time.
I hope with time as this unfolds those that thought he was some how going to “save us all” begin to see what he is. Unfortunately it will be way too late.
I remember around 2010 into maybe 2012/2013 these same people talking about government control, big government, big brother…the government spying on it’s citizens etc…preparing for something huge they’d have to defend against…and here we are…project 2025 literally is what y’all talked about defending against…you voted for what your against…lol…you voted against your own best interest! Why? My head spins trying to figure it out…
I digress…I will be ok and others like me will be ok…I hope you will be ok. If we were once Facebook friends, friends in real life and now we’re not…please understand I still care about you…but I simply cannot have what you stand for in my life…yes! I’m the one responsible for my feelings and all that…I get it…and because I am the only one responsible for my feelings and reactions…that’s why I have opted to not continue on seeing your posts or having that in my life.
Life is not going to be easy these next few years…mark my words…it’s going to get rough…we are going to go through things we never though we’d go through…maybe with time I’ll share what I “see/feel” is going happen. Right now I just can’t share…it’s to much…
In closing I want to say, thank you for your friendship if we were friends on Facebook…If we were friends in real life…I love you dearly and I wish you nothing but happiness and peace…but I must figure out how to go forward and find my peace…in order to do that I need to cut off the energy that creates hate & chaos.
I will move forward because if I don’t…the darkness wins…I and others like me will move forward and be a beacon of hope, light, kindness and love…if you read this and feel this too…feel free to comment…solidarity is important…if you don’t feel ready to reach out…I understand. Just know I feel your pain too. Hang in there…light will always triumph over darkness…it may take time..but it will…darkness will be exposed…just wait, watch and keep pressing onward!
Until next time…
Keep on keepin on!
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