Thursday, November 21, 2024

What’s done is done

Today felt more normal to me…I didn’t feel quite as disconnected. I think I’m finally able to process all this. I also know that what will be will be…while hard to accept I know it’s the way it is. We are all here for a reason, in this time, to experience what ever happens. I do believe there are lessons to be learned in all the challenges we face in our lifetimes. 

I know, sometimes it feels overwhelming…lol..like we just want to be done learning all the lessons…I get it! I feel that often! You’re not alone.

I also think some of us are put here to be a light in dark times…to be the truth tellers, the healers, the beacons that lead the way…we will be needed when it all falls apart, when people begin realizing they didn’t get what they thought they did…some of course will never see it and some that see it will never admit it…those will be the ones that don’t grow and become better throughout all this…

I just hate that those of us who have tried to tell our loved ones what’s going down, we too have to live this hell we are about to go through….when prices are far worse than now, when the food shortages start, when another pandemic hits…or we are knee deep in war…we too will suffer because people refused to listen, to see, to research…I do believe though, that to ever get to heaven we must journey through hell…to ever see the light we must experience the darkness, and to fully appreciate life, we must experience death…things are dying right now…chaos is coming like we’ve never seen..but I believe with all my soul once we get through these next few years it will be wonderful…people will be so weary from what we are going to go through that it will change them for the better…I’ll write more on this topic later.

So, today was a better day! And I’m confident tomorrow will be too..slow and steady wins the race…it’s time to shift from sad and angry to watchful and vigilant. We must listen, watch and be aware. 

Prepare your home and families…it’s gonna get rough! But you are strong…we will get through all this…hold tight to the ones you love…realize it’s time to accept what’s happened…and understand what’s done is done!

Until next time…

THL



Wake up!

Time to wake up! Yep! He really said this. You can do a search and find the original. It’s not AI before anyone tries to say that. Time to see these people for what they are! 



 

Wednesday, November 20, 2024

She makes sense!


 

Stay Alert-Stay vigilant…

I’m a bit better…still feeling down but not quite as bad. I

think I’ve just come to place of there’s nothing I can do…I will just continue to watch the clownish shit show play out…I will continue to tell those that chose this I hope they get exactly what they voted for…lol..funny though, it seems to anger them…kinda like they have regrets….lol…oh well! You did it! Unfortunately those of us that didn’t have to suffer as well, but we will make it! 

I will continue to stay away from those that wanted this…I can’t bring myself to be around them. I’m not going to my family’s thanksgiving dinner this year…I just can’t bear the thought of being around them knowing they betrayed my grandkids…it’s unconscionable to me.

I will instead spend it with my kids and grandkids the weekend before and let them know they are loved and accepted no matter what. They are good, decent, intelligent, empathetic human beings and I’m proud to be their mom and nana. 

Thanksgiving day I will cook a dinner for farm man and I. We will spend a quiet day at home and be grateful for what we have and what we have accomplished. 

It’s hard, it’s really hard…the pain is real…I know we will all be ok…or at least I hope…we will get through this..we may have battle scars at the end, but we will stand firm in our convictions throughout the battle. Sometimes we have to lose a few battles to finally win the war! 

I will continue to get better…I will continue to stand firm in my beliefs. I will continue to stay away from those that cannot respect those different from them. I will continue to stay away from those that support a rapist, pedofile, serial cheater, wanna be dictator, xenophobic, homophobic clown that is making a mockery of this country. I will also continue to remind them this is what they wanted. 

I will eventually gain my footing and find my center again…right now I’m angry, hurt and sad…it won’t last forever…I understand hanging onto these feelings only hurts me…I equally understand accepting policies that harm others is wrong as well. We cannot and should not accept laws and policies that harm others. Those that do, they are not going to be in my life.

I am better…I will continue to get better…I don’t want to continue to feel the way I do. I feel disassociated and disconnected…like in a fog…like living in a dream. Today, I am better…tomorrow I will be even better...I’m working through all the feels and fear…

It will take time….but I’ll get there…and you will too…

Stay Alert, Stay strong, stay vigilant…

Until next time..

Saturday, November 16, 2024

Hope is all we have

 

I’m beginning to wonder if this feeling of dread and doom will ever end. I’m trying to be positive and look at the best case scenario but it’s not working. I wake in the night with all this on my mind, I’m having nightmares and struggling to eat. I have never felt like this. I keep trying to figure out how and why but answers elude me. Do we try and sell this little farm we’ve worked so hard to build and leave or do we just stay and prepare for the worst?…

I’m a very intuitive person and my intuition is in overdrive right now..the things I’m feeling that we will go through is more than I wanna know…higher inflation than now, high gas prices, high unemployment, another possible pandemic…it’s just a lot. I hope I’m wrong!

I’m trying to stay busy and not think but it’s always there, in the back of mind…this feeling of unrest, sadness, doom, dread and anxiety…it’s exhausting…I’m struggling to find my center, my balance, my footing. I just want to understand..

People, friends & family that I deeply cared for…I feel betrayed…how can a family member vote against their own flesh and blood to not have equal rights? It’s betrayal at the deepest level. Why does everyone care so much how other people live or love? I just don’t understand. I want to, I really want to..but I’m struggling.

I’m so tired…I feel isolation is my only option right now…just communicate with my immediate family that is on the same page…those that aren’t..I really just don’t have it in me to communicate with them. 

I just wish we could turn back time…a time when we had hope and everyone got along…I’m afraid that time is gone forever…at least for the rest of my life. It’s a time of grieving I suppose…the sadness will at some point turn back to happiness, the melancholy will give way to joy, and the tears will cleanse the way to smiles again…at least that’s my hope… hope is really all we have I guess.

Right now hope is what is keeping me going, hope is what motivates me to get out of bed this past week and a half…it’s what I’m clinging too…I’m holding onto hope for dear life…hope that this is really all a bad dream or huge mistake..the hope that it will somehow be just a big joke…I hope for anything other than this being reality.

I watch my oldest daughter struggle to make sense of the fact that this is the world we’re really living in, I’m watching my grand daughter wonder why she’s not allowed to have equal rights to life, love and pursuit of happiness…at 20 she’s wondering what will happen to her and how in the hell some in her own family voted against her rights…my oldest granddaughter is putting off having another baby because she’s scared what could happen if something went wrong with her pregnancy…could she get the care she needed?…this is just surreal to me…I feel like this is not real life! It just can’t be! 

Sigh..but it is real life…and I’m really struggling…if you are as well, I understand…stay strong, stay vigilant and stay watchful. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best!

Until next time…

Stay hopeful!


Thursday, November 14, 2024

They are counting on it!

They are counting on your grief and sadness to paralyze you. That is their final move—to break your resolve, your spirit. You will be tested. We all will. And you know what?

We will be midwives to this long and bloody and painful process of birthing what will turn out to be a beautiful world on the other side. 

Taken from “pancakes dinner”. 

**************

We have what appears to be evidence that stimulation of the limbic system en masse will always yield more electorally positive outcomes than stimulating the frontal cortex.

This lesson is not lost on the people who will experience the greatest amount of suffering under these truths, but whether it will be lost on the Americans who aided and abetted one another's individualistic pursuits while MAGA metastasized is yet to be seen.

This is the end of the Republican Party as we know it, the final swipes and strokes and violent bursts of DNA that has plagued our species with the ghosts of ancestors whose thirst to replicate the pain and suffering of their childhoods never did and never will make up for the holes in their adult hearts-no matter how much pain and suffering they inflict. 

There is no solace in hate, no recipe for void-filling. There is only the void, a kind of hollowness inside one's heart, a mirror to the simultaneously horrifying and prescient universe of emptiness we find our little rock we call home hurling through.

We are witnessing the MAGA Spring. There is an end to this, but the end will be built day by day, brick by brick, one courageous step-one breath—at a time. It is fear that captures insecurities, it is ignorance that feeds it, and it is hopelessness that allows it to grow. We must grieve the future that has not come to be, and steel ourselves for the future we find ourselves in. First we grieve—and then we believe.

Compassion is the groundwork; compassion for ourselves and our communities, resolve for one's principles and a heart beating for a world that we know will exist in the future. We must plant trees that will grow and provide shade which we will not enjoy; WE must feel the effects of the rain and hail while we build good shelter for our children and their communities to thrive in. They will grow and become adults. They will have their work of love and light cut out for them, too. We all will, and we all do.

James Baldwin's words are as relevant as ever, now: "Love has never been a popular movement. And no one's ever wanted, really, to be free. The world is held together, really it is held together, by the love and the passion of a very few people. Otherwise, of course, you can despair. Walk down the street of any city, any afternoon, and look around you. 

What you've got to remember is what you're looking at is also you. Everyone you're looking at is also you. You could be that person. You could be that monster, you could be that cop. And you have to decide, in yourself, not to be."

There is clarity going forward in knowing that those who voted for what is to come will get exactly what they voted for-whether they know it or not. The clarity comes from the fact that this is not our lesson to learn. 

“The frightened individual," Erich Fromm wrote in Escape from Freedom, "seeks for somebody or something to tie his self to; he cannot bear to be his own individual self any longer, and he tries frantically to get rid of it and to feel security again by the elimination of this burden: the self."

"Most people are convinced that as long as they are not overtly forced to do something by an outside power, their decisions are theirs, and that if they want something, it is they who want it. But this is one of the great illusions we have about ourselves. A great number of our decisions are not really our own but are suggested to us from the outside; we have succeeded in persuading ourselves that it is we who have made the decision, whereas we have actually conformed with expectations of others, driven by the fear of isolation and by more direct threats to our life, freedom, and comfort."

-Erich Fromm, Escape From Freedom

"When Fascism came into power, most people were unprepared, both theoretically and practically. They were unable to believe that man could exhibit such propensities for evil, such lust for power, such disregard for the rights of the weak, or such yearning for submission. Only a few had been aware of the rumbling of the volcano preceding the outbreak."

-Erich Fromm, Escape From Freedom

"The pathetic superstition prevails that by knowing more and more facts one arrives at knowledge of reality. 

Hundreds of scattered and unrelated facts are dumped into the heads of students; their time and energy are taken up by learning more and more facts so that there is little left for thinking. To be sure, thinking without a knowledge of facts remains empty and fictitious; but "information" alone can be just as much of an obstacle to thinking as the lack of it."

-Erich Fromm, Escape From Freedom

Wednesday, November 13, 2024

Stay strong

I woke this morning as I have every morning for the past several weeks with a sinking sick feeling in my gut. I keep thinking it will get better, but it doesn’t…I wake in the night frightened for our future…it feels as if everything around me is caving in on me and what last bit of hope I’m clinging to is slowly fading away…it feels surreal…

It’s hard to understand…it’s hard to realize and accept that the society I grew up in, the values I was taught, the morals I was taught…we’re no longer important when a man stepped from show business to politics…people that once said if people are tried and convicted it was a fair trial…that’s all gone now.

My head literally hurts as I try to make it make sense..my brain is tired..I feel like I’m living in some sort of time warp, a different dimension or world..how does this happen?…

Do people really not see it? Are the ignoring all the facts? Are they brainwashed? I really want to know. 

The man is surrounding himself with “yes men” that he hopes won’t buck him in his plan to dismantle our very way of life. And we are ok with it. What happened to us? 

I hope I will eventually be able to get out of this funk..I will be able to move on…maybe…maybe when y’all finally see what’s happening…but then it will be to late…

My despair is something I’ve never felt before…it’s like a dark deep void…it almost feels like all love has left the planet…like something sinister and dark came in, in the wee hours of Nov. 6th  and used a vacuum and sucked all the light and love up and spit back out hate and darkness…it’s a feeling I’ve never had…I don’t have words to describe it honestly. Maybe this is why so many woke collectively that morning…we felt the energy change…we felt the shift in the universe…not sure how to get it back…it feels like a plug has been pulled from its power source and something that was once alive has now died…its an awful feeling…

We must keep going, we must not give into to the hate, anger and darkness…if we do they win..we must find a way to accept what is and fight back with love, acceptance and kindness. It’s our only hope…our only chance…focus on your loved ones that still radiate hope, courage, strength, love and light…the others..let them go. They will bring you down.

Until next time…

Stay strong & be a light


Tuesday, November 12, 2024

Last one to know

It’s been a really rough few days…letting go is never easy…came across this old song…I remember it well. I’ve come to understand these past few days that some people come into our life for just a moment in time….some stay many seasons and we learn much from them…some are in our life a short season but they too teach us lessons. Some you will fall in love with and others you will love. You will have your heart protected by some, and broken by others…it will not be easy…some will leave you shattered in pieces like glass on the ground…some will come by and pick up those pieces and try to mend the brokenness…there will be ones that will be the first to break your heart and there will be a last to break your heart…maybe all this election stuff is to show us our people…the ones that truly have our hearts and our backs…maybe?…..what I do know is that every person in our life is there to teach us something about ourselves…I’ve been the person in this song…and I held on way to long…maybe after all this time…all the chaos with the election…I’ve seen things more clearly than I ever have…maybe, just maybe this is why things are the way they are…this is a time of understanding ourselves, asking ourselves why we allow things in our lives we shouldn’t, why we overlook the warning signs, what  could we do differently…sometimes others see things in our lives we don’t…often…we are the last ones to know…


 https://youtu.be/Y1YXQvdhSws



Monday, November 11, 2024

Explains a lot!

 


Somethings on the way!

I love how she says she just knew who she needed to be rid of in her life…I knew others felt it too! There was a shift that morning…the only way I can explain it..I too woke up during this time as did both my daughters…something happened that we can’t explain…



Letting go

  

I’ve always said the autumn season is a time of letting go...as we watch the warmth of summer slip into the coolness of the autumn I also notice how gracefully the trees drop their leaves...the leaves will no longer serve them for this next season...I’ve sat outside in recent days, just being still....watching the leaves float gently to the ground in the breeze...the trees let go with such gentleness, yet an unquestioning certainty that this is what they are to do...let go! As a human letting go doesn’t come gracefully…at least for many of us. We don’t give up without lots of tears, yelling, asking why and lots of going over and over things in our heads….then, we finally come to understand, that this is but a season…it may be a season of unrest with many storms, but we trust it’s just a season…and hope we don’t have to weather the storm forever.

I used to be one that gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, but that really came to a complete halt this past week or so...one thing my seclusion on the homestead has taught me is that it’s ok to stay to yourself, but sometimes you must venture out and speak up...keep your circle extremely small, trust no one, what people don’t know they can’t ruin, people pretend to be your friend when it’s just a ruse to get something from you, people say things to you that are snarky then just disappear or pretend “you took it wrong”...or you find they stand and support ideologies that are so far outta step with who you are and what you stand for that you can no longer allow them in your space…these are the signs to Let go!! The season is over and that situation is no longer serving your highest and best good. I’ve had to let many people go this past few days. It’s not easy..I’m hurting…but I can’t, I won’t allow certain things, people or beliefs in my life. If it steals my peace, it must go.  Once you show me who you are, I believe you and act accordingly. 

It’s hard! I think sometimes the universe uses situations that are so trying, so hurtful and so devastating to show us which direction we need to go. We have to let people, things and situations go in order to become better. I fully understand that with time all darkness is illuminated by light. When you are shown the darkness, walk towards light the first time. Don’t wait until darkness rears its ugly head a second time. We must be and do better. We are in a battle…I choose the light..and the light will always win…we must trust the process. 

I am trying to stay focused on fall preparations to be ready for winter...I’m trying to distract myself with projects. I’m taking time to be quiet and take care of myself. Just spending time with those that bring me joy and happiness. Those that want better and will fight for better. Those that protect those that can’t protect themselves. Those that radiate love,unity, peace, joy, happiness and want to be better…I have no room for those that radiate hate, division, chaos, sadness and sow discord. Some will try to say they aren’t like that…that it’s the others are…prove it!  I’d love to see your proof!

So as the quietness of the autumn/winter season takes over the homestead I am realizing it allows much time for reflecting as we are chased indoors from the cooler temperatures....we can reflect on relationships, goals, ourselves and what we would like to change....while I much prefer spring/summer I also admit I find something comforting and nostalgic about sitting in front of a fire, sipping coffee with my favorite magazine or seed catalog...I also enjoy having candles lit to add a bit of warmth to my home and the aroma of fresh baked bread or a pie wafting throughout the house...I will make use of this less busy time to plan for next spring, reflect on all that happened in our country and to reflect on how I can be a better person...we will write out our goals in all areas, projects to complete and simply rest in preparation for the busyness that the spring will bring....

Until next time...

THL

Still processing


As the days have past since the dreadful Election Day I have had time to think..seems that’s all I do…think! I think about how, why, what…it’s never ending…

But one thing I have realized is I am so grateful that the men in my life, my husband, son in law, my grand son in law all voted for the women in their life. We! We were the first and foremost on their minds that day. Our rights as wives, daughters, stepdaughters, grand daughters…we were thought about, cared about and important! 

The men in my life are good ol’ country boys that enjoy the outdoors, enjoy all the guy things, conservative, most republican until a few years ago, they come from conservative Christian families, as do I…BUT! They chose freedom…the freedom for the women in their lives choose. For all women to choose! They believe all law abiding citizens including gays, straights, bi, lesbian, trans etc should have the same rights that they have. That we all have the right to life, liberty and to persue happiness even if it’s goes against your personal convictions. They voted for the right to believe in God or not! I don’t have to agree with someone to allow them to live their life as they want to within the confines of the law of our land.

We all feel the economic hardships we are experiencing…but if y’all would do a bit of homework you’d find out why we have the inflation we have, and it’s not Democrats…just sayin’. lol… I also want to make very clear I was a republican my entire life. Until….until I wasn’t! 

I understand research is hard and boring, but if you want to understand all this it’s a must…we can’t get our information from memes on Facebook or reels on tik tok..you have to dig deep..you have to read, listen, watch and use critical thinking skills. Understand the terms they use, the tatics…on the surface it sounds great! 

But most don’t research, use critical thinking or dig deep…so here we are! Here we are…

Your wife, daughters, granddaughters, nieces, moms even…could die…because they will be unable to access some reproductive care…Hope you feel really good about yourself!

Now, we have groups of men threatening to rape women, saying they’ll be glad to see women raped because “your body, my choice”. Does that make y’all feel manly? See, these types men now feel emboldened to say these things and possibly act on them because the highest office in our land is being run by a pedophile and rapist…congratulations! You did that! Women, you voted for this as well! 

Y’all say it was the economy that really made you do it…hmm..so money is so important to you, that you put a convicted felon in office…a rapist…for money…

Well, guess what…when he slaps his tariffs on China and other places, your prices will go up…yep..please research how tariffs work! I know how they work because in his first term he put them on china and it raised the price of the parts my husband needs to do his job…lol…

This man filed bankruptcy numerous times, yet he’s going to fix the economy?! Got it! Good luck to you..

I’m going back to how grateful I am to the men in my life…I truly am blessed…maybe it took this to get me see it…my husband isn’t perfect, nor is my son in law…but they have shown us that we matter…our rights matter…this country and all our founding fathers fought for…it all matters.

Women, if you read this and your husband voted against your rights…my heart breaks for you. It’s says a lot about where you stand in his life and his character. Please know you are not alone! If divorce is an option do it now before the no fault divorce choice is taken away!

I will never stop fighting for women and girls…our lives matter, our choices matter, the right to bodily autonomy matter…Men! You do not have the right to touch us with out our permission…

Women will now become more empowered than ever. Gun sales will sky rocket…just watch! Be careful who you target men…

We, I will get through this, but I will never get over it. From here I will find my peace again…after I work through my emotions. I, we are preparing for one of the hardest periods our country has ever experienced…when things get really bad…remember, who did this…

This is nothing more than a retribution presidency…he will do nothing for you…he simply wants revenge on those he calls enemy’s! 

Until next time…


Think about this…

 

Question from Rob Sidon (Editor/Publisher of Common Ground Magazine) to ChatGPT:

“If you were going to take over society and keep humanity from reaching its full enlightened potential, how would you do it?”

ChatGPT's Response: 

"If I were tasked with such a hypothetical scenario, here’s how a plan might unfold, focusing on limiting critical thinking, fostering dependence, and creating divisions. It’s worth noting that these are purely hypothetical ideas meant to illustrate ways control might be maintained, not strategies I endorse.

1. Control Information

- **Limit Access to Knowledge**:

Restrict information that promotes independent thought and critical thinking. Filter or censor educational content, history, and scientific knowledge to align with a certain narrative.

- **Spread Misinformation**:

Saturate media with conflicting information so people struggle to discern what’s true. This would lead to confusion and disillusionment, making it easier to control public perception.

- **Encourage Entertainment Over Education**:

Prioritize mindless entertainment and distractions over meaningful content. Make it more appealing to consume entertainment rather than engage in self-improvement or intellectual pursuits.

2. Encourage Division

- **Amplify Social and Political Divides**: Foster division by encouraging people to define themselves primarily by their differences. Promote an "us vs. them" mentality to keep groups focused on each other rather than on larger systemic issues.

- **Exploit Cultural Tensions**:

Use propaganda to stoke fears and prejudices, dividing society along cultural, racial, or ideological lines. In doing so, people are less likely to unite for a common cause or question those in power.

3. Undermine Critical Thinking

- **Encourage Surface-Level Thinking**: Emphasize quick conclusions, superficial analysis, and emotional reactions over rational discourse. Discourage open debates or dissenting opinions.

- **Minimize Education on Logic and Philosophy**: Remove or reduce curriculum that encourages critical thinking, logical reasoning, and philosophical exploration, which can challenge the status quo and encourage independent thought.

4. Foster Dependency

- **Promote Dependence on Technology**: Make daily life increasingly reliant on technology and centralized systems that are controlled or monitored. Encourage people to store their data, memories, and even health records in centralized systems to limit privacy and autonomy.

- **Create Economic Dependency**:

Cultivate an economy where people are dependent on a few corporations or institutions for employment and essential goods. Limit opportunities for self-sufficiency or small business growth, making it harder for people to function independently.

5. Erode Personal and Spiritual Growth

- **Downplay Individual Purpose**:

Promote the idea that individual lives are only significant in terms of material success, and downplay personal development, spiritual growth, or the search for meaning.

- **Subdue Creative Expression**:

Restrict or commercialize creative outlets, making them less about personal expression and more about conforming to a standardized form of entertainment or profit.

Each of these tactics is designed to erode autonomy and discourage the pursuit of knowledge, enlightenment, and unity. This thought experiment highlights the importance of staying aware, valuing critical thinking, and fostering connections with others to counter potential threats to individual and collective freedom.”

Art by Steve Cutts

Text shared on Facebook Oct 1, 2024 by Rob Sidon

Sunday, November 10, 2024

Here we go!

 Because we have misogynistic leaders now… men feel they have permission to act this way..this is what was voted for! Sickening! Just a great big fuck you to women…all the years we fought for rights…gone in a second…these men are being reported online but nothing is being done. Imagine that! 

https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/trump-misogyny-tiktok-reproductive-rights-us-election-b2643207.html

https://www.isdglobal.org/digital_dispatches/your-body-my-choice-hate-and-harassment-towards-women-spreads-online/

https://www.yahoo.com/news/body-choice-women-report-uptick-234917327.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAMzfwjJ9xVMyC9Jb6KZGsyv99Z_fO3apcGtsC6zG4qgEXLXMRkQvCero9Iz4Fcjmz44dX6uM6xN3gB3A2bEpiL9yJ0PyboF9jc7QBcjGlUZLQU3ku55xpArMEmKSZr7f93RC_8J0Dy30KzdJPJcbR_u3oYx5fvU1ArZL1nMTD-n6

Think about this

 This man is an intelligence specialist. Worth listening to what he has to say.

Link: https://youtu.be/Hc4ukKCgPYI



What now?

If you can’t watch the video here on my blog is the link



Moving forward

 It’s been a few days now and I’m still processing all that happened…processing how this happened, why it happened and how me and others move forward. 

I have such a feeling of doom and darkness hanging on…I’m trying to shake it but I’m struggling. There’s been an energy shift….not just with me but I believe globally…while many are celebrating many are not…what we see, feel and know is not worthy of celebration. There’s a dark energy looming. If you don’t feel it…reassess yourself! 

I have had to reassess who is in my life and act accordingly be it friend or family.  To some this may seem extreme…let me try to explain. If you don’t agree that’s ok and I respect it.

I have worked hard my whole life to find peace…a place where I am ok…a place of quiet, non chaos and no drama…it’s taken me years…many, many years.

I grew up in domestic violence…I was 17 when my parents divorced. So for 17 years I and my siblings were subjected to horrific violence. There were times I thought he was going kill my mom. When I’d try to intervene I’d take the beating. So I’m absolutely no stranger to abuse and chaos. I speak from experience. At 13 I was the victim of sexual assaults by a school teacher…I tried to tell the principal and the superintendent… nothing  was done except they called my dad and mom and I got “whipped” for telling lies…so yeah…no one gave 2 shits…earlier in life I was sexually abused as well as my sister. I was in an abusive marriage in my early 20’s. I know these types of men like the back of my own hand.

How does all that tie into to now? We have a man that has assaulted women on multiple occasions…I’ve already mentioned some of the other stuff he’s done..he will now get off freely…no punishment at all…he fixed it so he was immune to prosecution…to the all the women out there that voted for him…you just voted for a big fuck you to women like me! You voted against you’re own rights as a woman! Sigh…my heart weeps. 

Friends I cherished, family I loved and respected showed me who they were, what their character is…they showed me whether or not they had integrity and true Christian values not just lip service. I will not and cannot continue to have that kind of energy around me…as I said I have worked many, many years to find my peace from a past of darkness…while I have no choice but to deal with the darkness voted in, I absolutely have a choice what darkness I allow in my daily life, be it in person or online. 

I’ve had to unfriended those that I know voted again not just my best interest but theirs as well. I still love them and wish them no harm, but that kind of energy has no place in my life, I cannot make room for that.

I have never felt so helpless as an adult. So angry, confused and sad. My hope is as time goes on those that voted for him will see how duped they’ve been..and yes…y’all were duped. Some, I understand will never see it and I get that too. Problem is, people like me have to live through all this…for god only knows how long.

I and millions like me have no choice but to move forward, somehow, someway…with time we will.

I understand if I stay stuck in this place, the darkness wins. I have hope that in the near future I will find my center again, and find my peace. It’s going to take time. 

I hope with time as this unfolds those that thought he was some how going to “save us all” begin to see what he is. Unfortunately it will be way too late.

I remember around 2010 into maybe 2012/2013 these same people talking about government control, big government, big brother…the government spying on it’s citizens etc…preparing for something huge they’d have to defend against…and here we are…project 2025 literally is what y’all talked about defending against…you voted for what your against…lol…you voted against your own best interest! Why? My head spins trying to figure it out…

I digress…I will be ok and others like me will be ok…I hope you will be ok. If we were once Facebook friends, friends in real life and now we’re not…please understand I still care about you…but I simply cannot have what you stand for in my life…yes! I’m the one responsible for my feelings and all that…I get it…and because I am the only one responsible for my feelings and reactions…that’s why I have opted to not continue on seeing your posts or having that in my life. 

Life is not going to be easy these next few years…mark my words…it’s going to get rough…we are going to go through things we never though we’d go through…maybe with time I’ll share what I “see/feel” is going happen. Right now I just can’t share…it’s to much…

In closing I want to say, thank you for your friendship if we were friends on Facebook…If we were friends in real life…I love you dearly and I wish you nothing but happiness and peace…but I must figure out how to go forward and find my peace…in order to do that I need to cut off the energy that creates hate & chaos. 

I will move forward because if I don’t…the darkness wins…I and others like me will move forward and be a beacon of hope, light, kindness and love…if you read this and feel this too…feel free to comment…solidarity is important…if you don’t feel ready to reach out…I understand. Just know I feel your pain too. Hang in there…light will always triumph over darkness…it may take time..but it will…darkness will be exposed…just wait, watch and keep pressing onward! 

Until next time…

Keep on keepin on!

Friday, November 8, 2024

Thinking out loud-part 2

 Part 1 can be found below…

I want to move on to LGBTQ issue. While I understand it’s against the Christian belief system and the belief is that it goes against nature…so does being born without limbs, or having cerebral palsy or Down’s syndrome…it goes against nature to not have maternal instincts, but some women do not. That’s just a pretty lame argument that doesn’t really hold water. I know several gay people. They all have said they knew very early in life they were gay. They were born that way. I absolutely believe them. I can look at a child that’s 4 or 5 and I know instantly if they are gay. I have friends very again being gay but I can tell you 100% at least one has a gay son. He’s a young boy but I can see it. Gonna be really hard for that little boy because his parents will treat him horribly. I really hope he will be ok.

My biggest issue with those thinking gays are so terrible is…why the hell is it your business? Why are some of you so obsessed with someone’s sex life? It’s honestly quite weird. They really aren’t trying to “convert” you…you can’t be converted…if you’re straight, you’re straight…if you’re gay, you’re gay…it’s really that simple!. Why don’t you simply pray for them and let God deal with it? If your god is so almighty let him take care of it and you just do you…. Quit trying to get rid of them by suppressing them. It’s really not your business who someone has sexual relations with. You’d be surprised how many closet gays/bisexuals run this country…LOL…you might find out soon!

So let it go and let God! *smile*

In closing…I have decided to simply learn the lessons I am meant to learn throughout this next hopefully only 4 years. My faith in the American people has been tainted. I really thought we were better than this. I really thought we, as a civilized society had moved beyond the racist, misogynist and xenophobic ideals…guess I was wrong. 

My heart hurts…my head hurts…I’m saddened for what’s coming that those that put him into office can’t or simply refused to see. It’s going to be interesting to see how it all plays out when he’s dismantling our constitution…he will take full credit for the key provisions in the inflation reduction act set to go into effect in 2025 that Biden put into place…just watch and PLEASE do your research! You’ll see. He takes credit for the things others do because that’s what narcissistic people do. They aren’t capable of doing good on their own…they take credit for the hard work others before them accomplished. But his supporters will not believe it. 

It’s going to be a really tough few years…hopefully in 4 years we will still be allowed to have an election and let the peoples voice be heard. My fear is that will not happen. His tactics and plans to dismantle protections are disturbing. 

To those of us that have been able to see through all this…my heart is with you. Stay strong, don’t give up, keep your family close and prepare.

To those that voted him into office…I wish you well and I sincerely hope you get everything you voted for!

Until next time…

Stay strong!


Thursday, November 7, 2024

Thinking out loud

The past 36+ plus hours has left me asking a million questions. I guess I can say I’m really not surprised…it has shown millions in our country and across the globe who America is. She has never dealt with her past and continues to repeat her atrocities even today. The Christian’s of this country are lost…they are on a path to destruction and they can’t see it. It’s mind boggling. Literally makes my head spin to know their core teaching and choose the opposite! I spent 46 years in Christianity, I know their teachings well.

We boast of being a Christian nation, following the teaching the Jesus Christ yet many chose a man that is polar opposite from Jesus…it’ begs the question why?

DJT is a convicted felon, whether you believe in his guilt or not, he was convicted in a court of law of 34 assault charges against women, he was friends with Epstein, he has filed bankruptcy several times, he said he would fu*k his own daughter, he’s been divorced 3 times, yet Christian’s hold marriage sacred, he has lied, cheated and stolen…he fires who ever disagrees with him because he is a narcissist, he mocks disabled people, he is a racist…yet Christian’s voted this vile man into office, the highest position in our country…he has vowed to be a dictator, but only on day one(insert eye roll)…I could go on…but I won’t.

I have shed so many tears the past few hours and keep asking why…

Did America sell her soul for the dollar? Was/is the price for a gallon of gasoline or milk so important to you, you are willing to put this man in charge of this country? Was the price of a loaf of bread or a dozen eggs so damn important that allowing women to die from lack of healthcare that important? I don’t think some of you thought this through. I can guarantee some of your daughters, grand daughters, daughters in law,step daughters will get pregnant during this next 4 years, I can also with certainty say some will miscarry or have fetal abnormalities and non viable fetuses, I can also with accuracy say…some of your daughters, granddaughters, daughters in law and step daughters  will pass a away because they live in a state that will prohibit the care they need…a woman having a miscarriage does not have an abortion, she has a d & c to save her life if the tissue does not pass on its own. If it is not removed the woman develops an infection and can become septic…it’s already happening across this country!

Only 1% of abortions are done after 22 weeks and in ALL those cases, it’s done due to the fetus not being viable. Do your homework! Your real homework not tik tok reels or the DJT version!

Most all women that choose abortion do so before 12 weeks. Very, very, very few women use abortion as birth control…it’s crazy to think people believe women are aborting babies at unprecedented rates. It’s even crazier some of you all believe babies are born and then murdered. Use your head! The man saying this is the same man that doesn’t understand asylum for migrants vs insane asylums. His intelligence lacks!

Back to my point…America has chosen the almighty dollar over life…yet! You are all taught the love of money is the root of all evil…ironic isn’t it?!

You are concerned about immigration…do you understand YOU are most likely an immigrant…DJT is an immigrant, his wife is an immigrant! Vances wife is a dark skinned immigrant… Lol..make it make sense people. But, but, but they bring in drugs and rape and kill…again please research..86.4% of people convicted of drug trafficking are U.S. citizens! 

Here’s some FACTS from Cato institute:

Fentanyl smuggling is ultimately funded by U.S. consumers who pay for illicit opioids: nearly 99 percent of whom are U.S. citizens.

In 2021, U.S. citizens were 86.3 percent of convicted fentanyl drug traffickers—ten times greater than convictions of illegal immigrants for the same offense.

Over 90 percent of fentanyl seizures occur at legal crossing points or interior vehicle checkpoints, not on illegal migration routes, so U.S. citizens (who are subject to less scrutiny) when crossing legally are the best smugglers.

The location of smuggling makes sense because hard drugs at ports of entry are about 97 percent less likely to be stopped than are people crossing illegally between them.

Just 0.02 percent of the people arrested by Border Patrol for crossing illegally possessed any fentanyl whatsoever.

The government exacerbated the problem by banning most legal cross border traffic in 2020 and 2021, accelerating a switch to fentanyl (the easiest-to-conceal drug).

During the travel restrictions, fentanyl seizures at ports quadrupled from fiscal year 2019 to 2021. Fentanyl went from a third of combined heroin and fentanyl seizures to over 90 percent.

Annual deaths from fentanyl nearly doubled from 2019 to 2021 after the government banned most travel (and asylum).

So as the facts show migrants are clearly not the drug issue, it’s our very own citizens. Yet DJT has convinced millions otherwise. This clearly shows his racist tendencies. Most people that blindly follow do not do fact checking from reputable sources.

Do Christian’s understand that Jesus was not a white man? He was middle eastern descent making him dark skinned…lol…to be a racist is to be racist against the man you call your savior. 

There is a lot of talk about immigrants committing crimes. Here’s some facts…oh! those pesky facts…lol

Some of the most extensive research comes from Stanford University. Economist Ran Abramitzky found that since the 1960s, immigrants are 60% less likely to be incarcerated than U.S.-born people. 

There is also state level research, that shows similar results: researchers at the CATO Institute, a libertarian think tank, looked into Texas in 2019. They found that undocumented immigrants were 37.1% less likely to be convicted of a crime.

This makes perfect sense because if they do, and get caught they will be deported.  There are good and evil people in all races. 

My heart is heavy.

 I respect peoples right to choose. I respect our voting process. I respect the office of the president. But I have no respect for what he or JD Vance is and what they stand for. As a victim of sexual abuse/assault, as a survivor of domestic violence and someone raised in domestic violence, as a survivor of a life threatening miscarriage I cannot respect the men who think it’s ok to rape, assault, abuse, threaten, harass, and allow girls/women to die due to draconian laws. Mr. Trump says he will protect women even if we don’t like it! Just shows his power hungry narcissistic ways. I certainly do not need his protection. If he wanted to protect all women he would make sure they had the proper healthcare services. He would never have overturned Roe vs. Wade. 

Pro life, means ALL life. I understand people against abortion. I am not for abortion just because it’s there. I do believe in certain restrictions. But I do absolutely believe in a woman’s right to choose. I may not agree with her choice, but it should be hers, her doctor and her partners alone. Not me, not you, and certainly not the governments. I really believe most against abortion are not pro life but pro pregnancy. Once these babies arrive who’s going to take care them? Maybe all these politicians need to offer to pay for all the hospital bills and then support the mom and baby for the first 5-6 years of its life so mom isn’t forced to pay child care or be so stressed she abuses a child she never wanted because she was raped. All you that are pro life maybe you should adopt these babies. Or maybe just mind your own damn business! I think that’s the best option. The Bible commands Christian’s to mind their own business.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12: "Stay calm; mind your own business; do your own job. And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you"

I will continue this tomorrow…

Monday, October 21, 2024

Ancestry

It’s funny how meeting 1 person can make you question so many things! After meeting a certain person a few months ago and having a few meaningful conversations I have questioned so many things. Her being a Christian, she came from that perspective in our conversations, and me, being more of the pagan bent came from that perspective. Going back in my life I was raised Christian so those beliefs are not lost on me. At 46 I left the faith tearfully and began a “mindful journey” into who I was and what I believed. I’m still on that journey learning every day. 

One thing I had never done was any type of ancestry lineage stuff, just never really sparked an interest…until now!

I decided to do a bit of digging. I just decided to find out where I came from. Who am I and what am I made up of, what were their stories…I needed to know.

I believe our ancestors can tell us a lot about ourselves. They can help us understand who we are, where we came from, what beliefs they held. In my case I was curious why I am so very different from my family. What was in my blood and DNA that made me so very different…Why I hold different views, beliefs, talents etc.

What I found was more than I really bargained for but it made so much sense. Pieces of the puzzle are finally fitting into place.

On my mom’s side there were many puritans and some Quakers that had broke away from the mainstream Christianity. Interesting because many quakers are of a more mystical belief and many were accused of witchcraft... Nothing overly interesting on my mom’s side.

On my dad’s side I have Cherokee and Shawnee Indian heritage which was interesting because my dad always denied any Indian heritage at all!

The most fascinating part was is that I found I have ancestors that were not only accused of witchcraft, but the very first man ever hung for witchcraft was a relative of mine. His name was John Proctor. His wife and daughter were accused but never hanged.

In my family tree were also people named Southwick. Casandra and her husband Lawrence were quakers and were severely persecuted for their beliefs. Eventually their children were taken from them and were going to be sold into slavery but that never materialized. Cassandra and Lawrence were banished to Long Island were they died a few days later. There story can be found online.

I think all of this did help me understand myself better and why I have interest in the things I do. It has helped me clearly see why I left Christianity for a more peaceful way of life like the quakers. I am also extremely drawn to all things pagan and witchy.

The saddest part in all of this is that in the last 300 years not much has changed in the Christian community.  Christian’s today still persecute those that do not adhere to their beliefs. The witch hunts today seem to be the LGBTQ community. It’s seems that for at least the past 300 plus years Christian’s have held a disdain for anyone not like themselves. Interestingly enough though is that King James IV , the man that commissioned and authorized the KJV Bible was responsible for the biggest witch hunt and murders in Scotland’s history. Witchcraft was not even mentioned in the earlier writing of the Bible. Doing a deep study will yield the truth!  King James was a very paranoid and delusional individual. It’s hard for me to put much stock into a book that was changed by a delusional man. The very book that tells us not to commit murder was commissioned by a man that killed 100’s of individual men and women whether directly or indirectly! Make it make sense…lol

I’m not done working on my ancestral journey…I am absolutely fascinated by where I came from. I know I will understand myself and possibly my family better once I complete this process. If you have wondered why you are possibly different from those in your close family…maybe a deep ancestry search will yield some answers! 

Until next time…

Embrace who you are…

THL

Tuesday, October 15, 2024

Just be you!

If you are an extreme overthinker like I am you’ll understand all this! :)

For years I will worry, fret, think about, go over a situation and will replay the whole scenario in my head until I feel like I’m going to go insane…I will read, re-read, research, study and take notes to be sure I understand…I will have regrets and wonder why I didn’t get that apology or why the person/people cannot see how they are or what they did, I will fluctuate between anger and understanding…I will go back and forth between unacceptance and forgiveness…between wanting to go back to needing to run away…it’s a cycle that is a crazy ride…

Then one day you wake up and it’s all over…you finally have come to accept the reality of the situation…you feel lighter…you no longer feel like you need to explain, you no longer need nor want outside validation because you have finally come to understand your validation is all that matters…you no longer care to explain yourself to anyone…you understand your life, your experiences and your path is yours alone and there’s no way anyone can or will ever understand….most people are to busy trying to get you to understand their path, their experience and wanting you to validate them!

Once you are able to get off the hamster wheel of over thinking, trying to get validation, and needing to be understood your path becomes very clear…it’s like a veil has been lifted and you can finally see clearly…

I’ve been on the hamster wheel for damn near 12 years…I’ve wasted so much of my life, my energy, my time…

I think maybe writing it out out has helped me tremendously…getting it out of my head has helped put it in perspective…

I hope if any one stumbles across this blog and reads about my experiences it helps them to know they are not alone. There really are hundreds of thousands of us out there…I see you, I hear you and I feel your pain!

It does get better! One day, just like me you will wake up and have such clarity and everything will just make more sense. You will no longer have the desire to explain yourself, your choices, you beliefs, the way you live your life…you will simply just be you.

You will find self respect, self love and self validation. You will find the path that works for you and you will no longer give 2 shits who agrees and who don’t! They didn’t walk your path, you did! They do not understand the things you went through…many people choose to believe lies and live in a web of deceit…they are never able to understand a different perspective or point of view…they stay emotionally and intellectually stunted out of fear…fear of the unknown…they live in a box that they have been conditioned to believe is the the right way…and they think everyone should live in the box with them!

Those that are able to escape the box are labeled as rebellious, lost, sad, miserable, off course, back slidden and a myriad of other words.

For years that bothered me because I knew better…I spent so much time trying to explain myself to people…

I’m done now…done explaining, trying to be accepted, liked, I will no longer tolerate games from people…or their manipulation. 

I am grateful for what I went through because had it not happened, I would still be in the same messed up, jacked up, fear mongering, controlling environment I was in. I would be unhappy and trying to be someone I was never meant to be…I would still be listening to people tell me growing herbs was sinful…I would still be stunted in my growth as a person.

Today, I am proud to say I am out of that mess…I know the universe had my back and made a way for me to get out. Yes, it hurt..I genuinely loved those people…but they didn’t love me even though that was the foundation of their so-called beliefs…

I am happier now than I’ve ever been. It’s not been easy…I’ve learned about all the lies & half truths I was taught…I’ve had to deconstruct my entire belief system over the past 12 years…. I had no idea who I was outside the belief system that dictated who I was and should be… it is absolutely no easy task…it’s devastating when you learn your entire life was a lie! 

It’s been difficult to learn that something you held so sacred was twisted, mangled and construed in such a way just to control the masses. Brainwashing at its finest. 

I have found a more peaceful way…a way that really is more conducive to who I am and who I want to be. I can’t ask for more…I really can’t! Today, I am growing, learning and still discovering who I am, but I think we do that our whole life…it’s not something that happens, it’s something we make happen through shadow work, self exploration and spending a great deal of time in solitude working on ourself and admitting our short comings and working to be better. 

You will always have people in your life that will tell you your way is wrong…that’s ok…that’s not for them to decide…you will always have people that don’t understand and will not try to understand…you will always have people try and manipulate you using fear tactics with threats of damnation…again…that’s not for them to decide…people like this are not self aware…they have been conditioned to believe like the environment they are in. Self awareness in many sects is considered sinful…they think like the herd because that’s what’s right in their mind. Herd mentality has killed many, many people throughout the history of mankind. 

It’s ok to be different than those around you..embrace your differences, love your quirks, find your path and walk it, live it, and proudly embrace it! We only get one life…and it’s very short…don’t waste it by allowing others to dictate who you should to be! Don’t be someone your not out of fear, wanting to be accepted or seeking validation. You will find those things within yourself. When you are on the right path you will find your people and your people will find you! Be who the universe created you to be! You are special, you matter and humanity needs you and your gifts!

Until next time…

Love & Light

THL


Monday, October 14, 2024

I feel sad today

 

I have blogged for many years…I quit for a few years but still like to visit blogs I used to read once in awhile…

I came across one this evening I used to enjoy reading…he hadn’t posted in a couple years but in Jan. 2023 he posted things had changed…they had sold their farm animals when the kids moved out…due to age and no one to help…

It made me very sad…I felt that really deeply…hubby and I are getting older and with age come changes…I love our farm, our simple way of life…I get teary eyed thinking about not having my goats or chickens anymore…but I too know the time is coming…

Life changes so rapidly…when you’re young you just don’t think about getting older and having to give up the things that mean so very much to you….then one day you wake up and realize you’re not so young anymore…

Farm life has been our life for many years and we’ve worked hard over the years to build what we have…I wonder how hard it was for this guy to admit it just wasn’t possible to continue what he was doing? How long did it take to admit it to himself and his wife? Sigh…

I wondered what it was all for? All this work, time, money…what did we build it all for? Just to one day say well it’s over…

I guess for the joy of it…maybe…I know the time is closer than I’d like to think…maybe stumbling upon his post was  the universes way of preparing me for a time of letting go…

So much is changing in our society as well…sometimes the changes seem overwhelming…maybe this is the age all the change happens at once…lol…feels like a cruel joke or test we just can’t pass! I don’t know it’s just feels….different.

What I do know is, time marches on…change is inevitable no matter how much we fight it….aging happens…and the world keeps spinning…it’s pointless to fight it…all fighting does is make us miserable…we suffer needlessly…I guess it’s best to just accept what is going to be and be grateful that you are alive…

I feel sad tonight…not quite sure why…maybe I’m reminded I have more life behind me than in front of me, maybe I’m being reminded all good things end…maybe it’s feeling the loss of those bloggers that I once followed so closely and felt involved in their life somehow even though we never met…maybe I sense they are getting old too and feel like me…maybe it’s that an era of wonderful bloggers from a few years ago is ending…maybe we’re just on the cusp of something brand new and it’s hard to let go of the old…maybe I’m remembering the togetherness we used to have and it’s a stark reminder of the division that we now face daily…maybe that was the “good ol’ days”….

I know we can’t return. We can only move forward. We must move forward! I hope moving forward we can somehow find unity again like I remember feeling just a few short years ago in the blogging community…we were all miles apart, but shared a comradery…we were all different, yet found common ground…that seems so unattainable in todays world…we all instinctively knew we would face horrible challenges in the not so distant future…and here we are…we were laughed at, made fun of….maybe that was our common ground?…we had each others back…whatever it was, we were friends in an odd sort of internet way…I know in the future we will face many challenges…the worst is yet to come…I only hope we can find common ground and get through it…

Until next time…

THL



Thursday, October 10, 2024

Religious Trauma

WHAT IS RELIGIOUS TRAUMA?

By: CAMHS professionals 

Religious trauma refers to the psychological and emotional harm that an individual experiences as a result of their involvement in a religious or spiritual group or community.

This harm can occur due to a variety of factors, including abuse or manipulation by religious leaders, rigid or dogmatic beliefs, and social isolation or ostracism.

Religious trauma can have a significant impact on an individual's mental health and well-being, leading to symptoms such as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and even suicidal thoughts or behaviour.

It can also affect a person's ability to trust others, form healthy relationships, and engage in spiritual or religious practices.

Examples of religious trauma may include experiencing emotional or physical abuse by religious authorities, feeling pressure to conform to strict religious rules or beliefs, being shunned or ostracised by a religious community, or having one's personal beliefs or experiences dismissed or invalidated by others.

It is important to note that not all religious experiences are traumatic, and that many people find comfort, support, and meaning in their religious or spiritual practices.

However, it is also important to recognise and address instances of religious trauma in order to support those who have been harmed and prevent further harm from occurring.

Treatment for religious trauma may involve therapy or counseling to address the emotional and psychological effects of the trauma, as well as support from a community or social network that values inclusivity, respect, and autonomy.

Tuesday, October 8, 2024

Church Abuse

 

I’ve written several post about my Christian experience. I want to be very clear that I understand not all church experiences are like mine. I understand that if you haven’t experienced what I or millions of others have it’s difficult for you to understand. I am not here to bash your beliefs in God. I am here to educate about this issue.

I write about my personal experience so others that may find their way here know they are not alone. I also write so that those that read here can learn about this very real and detrimental issue. It’s everywhere. Most do not recognize it. Many, many people are sitting under pastors and attending churches that are causing “Religious Trauma”. I’m going to share a bit of information on signs and symptoms of what “Religious Trauma Syndome” entails and how it impacts those suffering. It will also include things about “Stockholm Syndrome”. This is very dear to my heart and I do not want see anyone else hurt by people claiming to live God and do his work! 


What about Stockholm Syndrome?

The Stockholm Syndrome is a strategy of survival in a very, very bad situation.

Perceived threat to one’s physical or psychological survival and the belief that the abuser would carry out the threat …leaving the situation would result in being shunned, “marked to be avoided,” or “counted as dead,” it is almost impossible to escape the situation because the cost is too high.

In order for the Stockholm Syndrome to take effect the following conditions are necessary: One person threatens to kill another and is perceived to be capable of doing so. The victim cannot escape, and her life depends on her captor. The victim is isolated from support, or in the case of hostages, the knowledge that other people are trying to help them. The captor shows kindness as well as violence increasing with the victim's sense of being totally dependent on the captor.

 In my opinion, Christianity is the world's largest case of Stockholm Syndrome. All the pieces are there.

*Christians tell people that God will kill them, or rather, send them to hell, which is even worse. If the person believes in God, then he is certainly perceived as capable of doing this. After all, he's God.

*They are also told that they cannot escape God's judgement, and that everything in life depends on God. The success of this tactic is illustrated by the number of Christians who claim that without God, life has no meaning and is not worth living.

*There is no one to support them except for God. The only other being who might have the power to do so, the Devil, is presented as being powerless, and even worse than God.

At the same time, Christians are quick to point out how good God really is. He only threatens us because we deserve it.

The parallels become especially sick and twisted when we consider the analogy of the Church as God's bride. If that's the case, God has all the earmarks of an abusive husband, and it's no wonder that the cries of his followers sound so much like the cries of a battered wife.

What Is Religious Trauma?

Religious trauma is any trauma that takes place in a religious setting, often through psychological or emotional distress or emotionally manipulative practices.

Religion can play an essential role in a person’s life, and many may find incredible fulfillment in exploring their religious beliefs and practices. Many may also utilize these spiritual beliefs and communities for personal healing.

However, others experience negative religious experiences that can create religious trauma.

What Causes Religious Trauma?

Religious trauma occurs when a religious official or religious community uses a person’s spiritual beliefs against them to impact a person’s actions, decision-making, and well-being.

Causes of religious trauma include:

Using guilt and shame to control behavior

This often occurs in organizations that have strict moral codes and rules.

Strict gender roles

This is especially harmful when it is used to justify discrimination, shaming, or power imbalances between different genders.

Fear-based teaching-Hell

This often occurs through threats of eternal punishment, impending apocalypse, or some kind of spiritual damnation.

Excommunication and shunning

This occurs when “disobedient” members of a faith are isolated from their religious community. Their family and friends may be instructed by religious leaders to cut off contact with them.

Repression of critical thinking

This occurs when religious leaders discourage discussions of questions or critiques.

Physical, emotional, sexual, or financial abuse

This is often caused by religious leaders taking advantage of their positions of authority.

Is Religious Trauma a Form of PTSD?

Religious trauma can be intimately connected and share many similarities with the development of post-traumatic stress disorder and complex PTSD, or c-PTSD.

This kind of trauma is characterized by prolonged, continuous exposure to traumatic events. Religious trauma syndrome, or RTS, often manifests over a long period, with religious groups slowly affecting a person’s mental health, decision-making, critical thinking, and more.

Signs of Religious Trauma

Religious trauma can affect people differently, and each person will have their own unique experiences with religious trauma.

Individuals and their friends and families should all be aware of potential signs of religious trauma. This can empower each person to identify toxic religious communities and best address RTS with a mental health professional.

What Are Signs of Religious Trauma?

There are various signs that an individual may be experiencing religious trauma or continuing to cope with its prolonged effects. Some symptoms of religious trauma include:

Compulsive perfectionism

Faith crisis or becoming disillusioned with spirituality

Self-hatred, low self-esteem, or compromised self-worth

Constant feelings of shame or guilt

Hypervigilance

A distinct lack of boundaries between personal life and religious communities

Identity confusion, especially among women, LGBTQIA+, and religious minority members

Manifestation of other mental illnesses, such as anxiety disorder, depression, or eating disorders

 What Does an Unhealthy Church Look Like?

Unhealthy or toxic churches or religious institutions can come in many forms, but there are some signs of an unhealthy church that can help an individual begin the healing process.

An unhealthy church may show the following signs:

Focuses on punishment, damnation(hell), guilt, shame, and other negative beliefs about oneself

Has strict, authoritarian, and absolute rules

Causes an individual to feel belittled, or as if their personal worth is less than that of the culture of the church.

Exhibits signs of religious indoctrination-start in childhood many times.

Compromises a person’s sense of personal identity or causes an individual to feel shameful about their identity, especially among members of the LGBTQ+ community.

Cultivates a culture of punishment and external forgiveness rather than personal development or personal spiritual exploration.

Focuses on personal or financial sacrifice to maintain good standing with God or the church.

Gaslighting or manipulating a person’s religious beliefs and sense of self in order to control their behavior

Using religion, scripture, or doctrine to protect otherwise abusive individuals or to facilitate otherwise abusive relationships

Feeling forced to stay in actively harmful situations or relationships based on the approval of spiritual leaders

When a person has been denied the opportunity to make personal decisions due to the pressures of religious figures

Experiencing religious trauma often has long-lasting effects on a person’s mental health, self-worth, beliefs, perspectives, and more. Many of these beliefs can be detrimental and even compromise a person’s emotional, mental, and physical health.


What Are the Long-Term Effects of Religious Trauma?

Religious trauma has lasting effects on an individual, necessitating the need for professional treatment and clinicians to address these effects.

Some of the long-term effects of trauma include:

Pervasive feelings of shame, guilt, and low self-worth

Panic attacks

Flashbacks to specific traumatic experiences or instances of spiritual abuse

Compromised personal relationships, or inability to nurture personal relationships

Difficulty trusting others

Pervasive feelings of hopelessness, especially in combination with guilt, as well as blaming oneself for all negative aspects of life

Depression

Confusion or compromised decision-making skills, especially when outside of the faith community

Dissociation or compromised sense of personal identity

Fear of eternal damnation

Anxiety

Anger

Feelings of isolation, both in regards to a person’s faith as well as isolation from others, even outside of any given religious group

Suicidal ideation

How Does Religious Trauma Affect the Brain?

Some of the ways in which religious trauma affects the brain include:

Emotional, sexual, and social delays, especially when engaging in an unhealthy religious environment from a young age or throughout childhood

Compromised decision-making skills and critical thinking skills, especially outside the context of a religious institution

Low self-esteem or perspective of self-worth

Panic attacks, anxiety, and depression

Trauma of any kind can profoundly affect the brain, affecting a person’s beliefs, perspectives, attitudes, mental health, and much more. Religious trauma and its connection to post-traumatic stress disorder and c-PTSD can have equally as profound effects.

Religious trauma can also inform the development of other mental illnesses and disorders. This includes anything from anxiety disorders and depression to post-traumatic stress disorder, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, social disorders, and even substance use disorder to cope.

Again I want to make clear, I do not believe all churches are toxic. I do believe everyone should earnestly take a look at their situation and examine the practices and doctrines they are being taught. There are very subtle things that can be missed. I think parents need to be engaged in what their children are being taught by others and take a hard look at what they are teaching their own children in the way of eternal damnation(hell).

More later…

THL