Introversion and life

 
Hello again! We are alive and well here on the homestead. We still know people struggling with covid but most are doing well and we are hopeful for a full recovery for all! Positive thoughts and vibes to you all and anyone you know struggling with covid as well!

Over the past weeks i've spent much time in thought...had a discussion with a couple of respected people about introversion. People that are not introverts simply do not understand it. We are not depressed, sad, angry, suffer from social anxiety in the true sense of the word, we don't hate other humans(most days :o). We are simply ok with our own company and with the people that we feel the most comfortable with. I spend tremendous amounts of time at home by choice. I have a vehicle, I have money and I have time to go do things like shopping....I simply don't want to, until I do. I am not living in fear of Covid, although I respect the hell out of it and what it can do. I just like being alone. I am very content being in my own home and on my own property doing my own thing. I socialize as I see a need & not as society demands I do. So many people in our world do things out of pressure to fit in, to be accepted, liked, loved and admired. They act a certain way, do things they think are acceptable to the masses all so they appear "normal". These are the people overwhelmed with anxiety...these are the people that are the addicts, hateful, judgmental people....They are miserable and cannot admit it. 

See, I used to be that way...I worked, went to college, was the life the party, everyone loved me...except me...I would go home after all that and be miserable...I was tired, depressed, drained and hated my life...but, I kept it up because it's what society dictated to me and I believed was the way of life. In my early 30's life changed when my grandmother passed away. It was very hard but it was also then that I realized the life I was living was not the life I wanted. We had brick home in the suburbs, we both worked, we had 2 nice vehicles, we were by worldly standards living the dream...BUT we were not happy...we were simply going through the motions...At 35 we sold our home and moved deep into the country...that's were the story of life really begins...That's when things simplified...that's really when my mindful journey began even though I didn't realize it until many years later. So here I am, almost 20 years later, still making sense of peace, joy, happiness and mindful living. I certainly don't have all the answers to life's questions, but I do understand the benefit of stillness and quiet. Most people don't like quiet because to them its boring. Quietness is a blessing. It is where the answers lie, it is where we begin to find wisdom and figure out who we really are....

It is in the quiet stillness we hear the most....

We hear that still small voice...when we ask the questions, that small voice will answer...sadly most people do not want the answers, the real answers, the hard answers...the answers that matter...they want the answers that stroke their ego and feels good...they want the answers that align with their own ideals...they want answers that will further their selfish agenda...We only need to look as far as social media to see that. When we take the time to just be still, to be quiet to listen, then will we learn and grow.

I love the spring time and the newness of everything. I spend hours a day outside, sitting, thinking, listening, and pondering...I find nature has profound wisdom if we only listen to her...The birds singing show the beauty in a simple song, the flowers teach us to always turn our faces towards the sun and feel the warmth of the light, the trees teach us to stand tall even in the midst of the storms, the squirrels teach us to gather and store for the hard times, the earth helps ground us and keep us humble...so much to learn from the mother(nature). Sadly most are to busy to stop and take it all in....Introverts are full of things to say, they know far more than most understand...they are not all the things others think they are....they are the sages, the prophets, the shaman, the wise ones...don't dimiss them...they are not crazy, depressed or sad...If an introvert lets you in their world, keep them...they rarely let anyone in so just know if you are in their life....you are there for a reason....pay attention!

Much love and light,

Food for thought

 All over the place you see and hear people fearing their rights being taken away, their democratic way of life being trampled on, fear of socialism, communism, martial law etc...but these same people are so scared that they are doing the very things that will surely cause that to happen...riots, insurrections and calling for war! Think about that. 

A long couple of weeks

 Not long after my last post my 10 month old grand daughter fell very ill. after 3 doctors visits my daughter took her to a local childrens hospital where she was admitted and diagnosed with Covid-19. My daughter, son in law and 2.5 year grand daughter all were diagnosed. All are doing ok. The baby was released day before yesterday and is doing well. My daughter is doing really well along with the 2.5 year old. My son in law is still struggling a bit. 

I'm to tired right now to go into all the details of what happened and i'm still to angry! I'm angry at the people that disregard this as a serious illness for many. They make light of it by calling it everything but what it is COVID-19! One of my pet peeves! This is not racial or political...its a virus!! My family has been through hell with this. They told my daughter had the baby not gotten to the hospital when she did the baby would have died! DIED! Very traumatic to hear as a young mom 24 years old!

I'm still processing all we've been through so it may be a few more days before I have my thoughts together enough to post anything worthwhile. I just wanted to check in and say i'm still here. Take care, stay safe, stay positive and test negative!

Leaving it behind

Leaving all these behind in 2020 and moving forward in 2021 with things that are for my highest and best good! I hope you all do the same! Many of us deserve better than what we allow in our lives!

 

Reflection

I typically try to do my end of year reflection post closer to the first, but this year I got busy and didn't find the time. I've taken the time to be quiet and just reflect on this past year. I believe with all trials, no matter how big or small, come lessons. Most of the time we are to wrapped up in the issue to take time to learn the lesson(s) we are meant to learn. I am really no different, I've been rather down as of late, so much going on in the world and in my heart and head its been difficult to sort it all out. I've seen and heard things this year that disturb me deeply. I have had to pull away from people and things that stole my peace and joy, I need to focus on learning what I am here to learn. I look around at the turmoil in our country, and my heart breaks...I ask myself why are people so mean, so hateful...truthfully, I have no answers, other than they are human and humans want to be right at all cost....I sit here on my little slice of earth and feel alone so much of the time...not 'lonely' necessarily but alone in my way of thinking, my values, my beliefs. I see all the hate and the tension and I just can't grasp the mindset of such people...I have come to one conclusion as to why some are the way they are.... that is that fact that they get so caught up in the way things in their mind were suppost to be that they can't accept the reality of the way things are....Change is hard for many, but it is also inevitable...without change we cannot grow as people. Change takes us from our comfort zone and puts us in unfamiliar territory and that is hard....The Buddha once said that it is not change that is difficult but the resistance to it.(paraphrased) I couldn't agree more! I am not one to like change but I know from my own experience the more I fight it the more unhappy and frustrated I become, so it's best to feel the feelings, deal with the emotions and move on....See, change is going to happen regardless if you want it to, so you might as well just accept it and move on with life...learn the lessons to help you grow as a person. 

This year I've learned many things about myself and other people and lessons have been horribly hard at times. 

I've learned no matter who you are or what you do there is always going to be someone not like or agree with you.

I've learned people are not always who they appear to be and if your instincts tell you to beware, then beware!

I've learned that just because I believe something with all my heart doesn't mean others have to. All you can do is educate, what they take from the education is up to them.

I've learned that even in the midst of the most horrific storm there is always good to be found.

I've learned its important to our mental and emotional health to be true to who we are regardless of the back lash...those meant to be in your life will accept you and love you. Let go of those that are not accepting.

I've learned kindness will get you further than hatefulness

I've learned if  your politics and religion define your friendships, you need to find new friends!

I've learned I deserve friends that value me and my time. That love me unconditionally and those that can't really aren't my people.

I've learned it's ok to reinvent who you are how many ever times you wish to do so. You are the only one you have to live with daily, so love yourself, accept yourself(flaws and all), and be kind to yourself.

I've learned it's ok to hurt and cry even after years have passed. Love doesn't die just because the person did or the relationship ended. True love will endure forever.

But mostly I've learned that its ok to distance yourself from those that exude negativity at every turn. Negative energy is very harmful to those exposed. I had to let go of friendships that were negative and toxic, I am off facebook due the toxic nature of so many people. I am a person that absorbs other peoples energy no matter how hard I try not to, I just do...so I had to get away. I have to take time to unwind, relax, meditate and just let go and recharge. I am keenly aware of the situation in our country, but I am also keenly aware I am the only one that can choose my attitude towards the situation. Being

ugly, negative, spewing hate and toxcicity everywhere I go, serves no good purpose other than to make me look ignorant...If I am supportive, positive and encouraging of others my impact is far greater.

Life is a boomerang, what you put out, you get back...you choose....put out negative you will be a miserable human being, with all manner of problems and issues. Put out positivity and you will fare much better in life with positive things happening for you. I am not not saying being positive negates you from experiencing bad or traumatic things, I am just saying day to day living will be much easier to cope with during those stressful time. Positive people attract positive things and negative people attract negative things. I am also not saying to not see a situation for what it is, truth is not always positive, but being truthful will bring about positive change in the long term. Decide this year what you want to do with they rest of you life and then set goals and make it happen! Stay positive even in this time of uncertainty and great things will happen for you. Hang in there, stay safe, stay positive and spread kindness!

 

 

New Beginnings

I am so excited for new beginnings this year! So many plans we have made and I’m looking forward to them coming to fruition. It’s been a very hard year for so many, I hope this year is better for us all. Stay safe and stay grateful for all you have!