I lost my dad in 2016 and that was very much a learning experience for me, I found what unconditional love truly meant and what a wonderful thing it was to forgive someone who was really never sorry for what they had done to you...I learned it brought me peace to forgive...
In 2017 I lost my best friend of 21 years...it was the biggest thing I faced...In many ways it was harder than losing my dad...A relationship with a best friend is different than a relationship with your dad...My best friend had been there for so much in my life...the ups, the downs, the good, the bad and ugly as they say...We met when were both foster parents, we adopted our girls close together, we both suffered health issues, we had issues with our children(gasp! they weren't perfect...LOL...sarcasm intended) and we lost our parent within 3 weeks of each other, her mom...my dad...10 months later I lost her...still not sure how I feel about it all...I have struggled alot...I've struggled trying to figure out how I feel...it all happened so fast...she was sick for awhile but she had an autoimmune disease so it wasn't out of the ordinary for her to feel ill at times...in May we talked on the phone and she was feeling a little nauseous and tired...by mid May she was being diagnosed with pneumonia and no matter what meds they gave her she just wasn't responding...she had had breast cancer 4.5 years earlier but apparently that was of no merit to the docs( arrrg!) finally her pulmonologist decided to do a scan...On June 2nd my best friend was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer that has spread to her adrenal glands, her liver, her bones and her lymph nodes....she was struggling to breathe the last time we talked by phone..I was in shock! I couldn't even cry it was like the world stopped spinning...and I just sat there...in silence...in denial..she opted for no chemo and her journey ended July 29th, 2017...I miss her more than words can express...I cry now...I dont't have a best friend anymore...I don't a friend to call up and say hey guess what....I don't have a friend to share those funny little memes with I find on facebook...I don't have friend to confide all my secrets in anymore, all my fears, ask all my questions to...share my journey of life with...I miss her...part of me died with her..Life will never be the same...I wonder if I will ever find another friend that just accepts me for me...my weirdness and all?...A friend that calls and we talk forever and work on solving all the worlds problems and a friend that can accept I am a deep thinker and I'm not much on small talk...Theresa, my friend used to tell me that she told her husband I was such an intellectual...LOL...I laughed...still do...but she valued my opinion, the way I saw the world, she valued and understood i'm not a people person and love being home and that I love silence...she didn't fault me for loving critters more than people...LOL...we didn't see everything the same...but we accepted and loved each other for who we were....she was the wife of a Baptist preacher...I at one time was the member of a very legalistic type church/cult...I then began the study of buddhism and she just accepted I had been very very hurt and she just loved me through it she didnt tell me I was sinner destined to hell, she ask me what value I found in my studies...I LOVED that!...She was a republican, I was/am and independant...We somehow found common ground and could discuss such things and still be besties...God knows how much I miss her...she's gone now, but she will never be forgotten....
Lessons I have learned:
- Be quick to listen and slow to speak and you might learn something new...
- Don't hold so tight to your beliefs that you fail to see the value in others beliefs...
- Don't hold so tight to what you've been taught that you are unable to learn something new...
- Just because someone doesn't believe like you doesn't mean their belief doesn't hold value...
- Just because someone else's life journey is different than yours doesn't mean their journey is wrong...
- Accept yourself for who you are, don't change to fit in...You are fine the way you are...
- Tell those in your life you love them....you might not have tomorrow...
- If someone in your life brings in drama, conflict and negativity....let them go, don't let them bring you down!
- If someone can't accept you and wants to change you...they have a problem not you! You are created the way you are and its ok!
- Spend less time judging others, hating others, and being mean to others and more time loving, learning and working on yourself!
- It's a well known fact what you hate in others is usually a reflection of things you hate in you...Mediate or pray spend time alone and ask yourself the hard question as to why you hate a person or group of people...Be willing to look at yourself and realize you are the problem not the other people...if you can handle those people move on, but don't belittle, hate and abuse them...You will be happier and so will they!
- Blog more
- Love more
- Be kinder
- Meditate/pray more
- Feel more confident in who I am and what I believe in
- Do a bit of traveling even if its just day trips
- Realize my power comes from within not from outside sources. IE: family, friends, government etc...
I leave you all with this quote:
"Around us, life burst forth with miracles - a glass of water, a ray of sunshine, a leaf, a caterpillar, a flower, raindrops. If you live in awareness it is easy to see miracles everywhere.--Thich Nhat Hanh
Kris
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