As we all know if we lived any time at all on earth is that things change and thats just how it is...even if we resist, the change happens...for people like me it is not without a great fight that we accept the change...A lot has changed in my life the past 3 months...
I mentioned that my best of friend of 20+ years was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer and she opted for no treatment....she received her diagnosis June 2nd and her journey here on earth ended July 28th, 2017...she was 56 years old...My life will never be the same, but must say I am better for knowing her and I will be forever grateful for the friendship we shared.
Just days before my friend passed away my husbands uncle passed away and then a week later a very close family member on my side of family passed away suddenly....it's been really hard...I have come to understand that as we age, the people we all grew up with age as well and so as the cycle of life goes we begin see much more death...it's hard...but all part of living....none of us will get of out of thing called life alive...make the most of everyday.
We became official empy nesters August 1st. It has been nice actually. Our youngest dd, farm girl moved out and in with her male friend. They have known each other 7 years and dated 3. She turned 21 August 1st as did he(he is 3 hours older than her) and on that very day they found out they were approved for an appartment in a couple towns over. They loved their birthday present!! *grin* I am happy for them to begin their life. They are both great kids and we all wish them the best!
Before all of the changes above took place much had already begin to change here at Rocky oak....We had sold off the chickens, turkeys,the incubator etc....We have kept the pigs...until now...we are now selling them...We will keep the bees as they are easy and farm man really enjoys them and they are simple really. Some may be asking why so I'll do my best to explain!
Farm man and I are 50(not old but certainly not young pups) we began our homestead journey some 17 years ago. In that time we have been through alot. The past 9 years have been spent building Rocky Oak to what it is now. It has been challenging but worth it. Saddly though, as we age many of develop health problems or limitations and sometimes we are just ready for a new direction in life. I think farm man and I fall into both camps. We both have some health issues and we are simply ready to explore life without kids and critters! 😀 Don't get me wrong we love our children and grand-children more than words can describe, but lets face it and be real, our goal as parents is to raise the best kids we can and help them to become independant, functioning citizens and to have a mind of their own and think on their own...farm man and I have accomplished that...Do we agree with every decision they make? Of course not, but we allow them the room and freedom to do life as they sit fit just as farm man and I have done. We are here for them if they need us but we don't run their lives or tell them how to live it! If our advice is wanted we give it.
We loved our critters as well, but anyone that has critters can appreciate how they tie you down, the expense involved for food, vet care etc. the sheer amount of time invested in critters can be astronomical...After my dad died last September so much in our lives, in our way of thinking, our goals...so much changed...it is then we began the dismanteling of Rocky Oak...
Some would find this a sad time, but for us it is a good season in life...We are finding what we like to do, we are finding who we are again as a married couple, we are finding our way in our spiritual lives since leaving church...for us all these changes are positive...
For many, many years our identity has been wrapped up in homesteading, children, church, teaching in church etc...we loved it...for awhile...when we left our church several years ago it was life changing as far as wondering what we even believed anymore...it has been a long and meandering journey, but we are finally settling in to what we believe(albeit it different from before), when my dad died there was more changes.... personal changes for me...I learned what it really meant to forgive, what it really meant to love unconditionally, I learned so much about myself...it was the hardest thing I had even been through, but I am still here, and have learned so much...Now I have lost my best friend and once again I am learning from the experience...Life is full of learning experiences if we allow them...don't fight them, embrace them...While I don't understand why my friend only had 56 years on this earth, or why she opted for no chemo treatment, or why she had to leave behind a husband, a church, her children and grandchildren, what I do know is that we will all have our turn...Make positive impacts on those around you daily, you might not have tomorrow....Live life fully every. single .day.
So many of us live to work and work to live...We live in the past and in the future....we forget about now!.... We work to pay the bills that we made yesterday(past) and keep working looking forward to when they are paid off(future)....we miss the today because were working!! I get that we all must work, we have to have money, we will always have bills to pay....part of living in this world....but when it becomes our sole existence something is off kilter! We all need to slow down and embrace the moment we are in...take a deep breath and feel it! Smell the fragrance around you, feel the air on your skin, feel the grass beneath your feet....take it all in....Be in that moment and be grateful for being alive! Thank God for allowing you to even have that breath!
All my life I guess I was taught in one way or another to live in the future...In church we were taught our goal was to make heaven our home when we died, so we spend our lives talking about it, dreaming about it, preaching about it, teaching about it,reading about it...it is what we should look "forward" to...making heaven in the "future" is the goal.
We grow up being told we need to have a job so that when we get married, have children etc...we can afford that new car, home, and all the other luxuries of life...so we work hard to have good grades so we can get a good job after highschool/college so we can pay for all these "future" things...
Medicine teaches us preventative measures for our health...we need to keep an eye on our cholesterol, blood sugar, blood pressue, we need to exercise, and eat well so in the "future" we don't encounter problems. Truthfully, if we eat right, excercise, meditate daily, and just chill we can control just about all of these thing NOW! There will be no future issues to even worry about...focus on doing these today so that you are healthy today!
Don't get me wrong we should all have goals for life...but we need to make sure we are not just working for goals, but that we are taking the time to enjoy today...
We also live in the past. We hear about how bad childhoods make for bad adults and these said adults are 40 years old still boo hooing about a spanking they got when they were 5! It is crazy...Memories from the past are good, if we keep them as that...memories...we can't live back there....they can teach us and help us learn....the past certainly does mold us, but it's up to us to move on to more postive things if we had negative experiences in the past....Taking time to live in the moment and realize that right now you can have have peace and joy. Right now you can change your own destiny...you can become a better person, wife, husband, mother, co-worker, christian, buddhist, blogger...whatever....right now is all we all we have....we might not be here in 5 minutes...be mindful! Embrace the moment!
Rocky Oak has had it day...we enjoyed our homesteading experience...but its time to move from it...and make a life that we love equally...Farm Man still goes to work daily, I am happy being at home doing home stuff.....But we have both realized we need to slow down and enjoy life more fully...its ok to sleep 5 minutes past 6:00 a.m., it's ok to not get all those things on the list done today! It is ok to stop, sit down, enjoy a glass of sweet iced tea and watch the birds....It's ok to not be ok all the time...It's ok to let go of one belief and embrace another...we have a path to journey on...mines not yours and yours is not mine...we are neither one right or wrong...we are just living our life the way we see fit...If we are minding our own business, not infringing one someones elses rights, obeying the law and being kind...we are ok...None of us have it all right....what we all have is an opinion...and thats ok as long as we all realize it just an opinion and it doesn't make it the gospel truth!....Have your opinion, but equally respect others..
We will keep prepping here at Rocky Oak just because its good household managment, while this is looking to the future it does not control our lives nor do we think about daily...We live for today and don't worry about tomorrow like we once did....we can clearly see the writing on the wall...our country is in deep trouble...I will not share my opinion here as it really doesn't matter much...But what I will say is this...Until each of us have peace within ourself ....our country, our world will never have peace...We work daily to have peace in our heart and mind no matter what comes our way. I meditate 1 hour daily to keep myself centered and blanced.
I will still blog here, but the name will change, to what I haven't decided....My content will be different...some of you may enjoy it, some may not...either way I am fine....I don't blog for an audience....I blog to get out what I am feeling and thinking...I hope some of you continue to follow our lives and I hope to share our lives in a real, but peaceful and positive way...We are seeking to find solace in a world full of turmoil. My hope is to share how to find peace and solace in a world that somedays feels like it has gone crazy....I am hoping to share bits of wisdom I have learned the past years and hopefully some of you can glean from our experiences.
I will leave you with this food for thought...this is a quote from one of favorite authors...
Until Next Time--Stay Peaceful,
The Homestead Lady
