I have picked up my onion sets, beet seeds, iceberg lettuce seeds, cabbage seeds and garlic from a local farm store...Today I placed my order for following seeds- Lemon bee balm
- Dill(bouquet)
- Rocky Top lettuce mix
- Fordhook Swiss chard
- Bloomsdale Spinach
- Banana pepper
- Parisienne Carrots
I order from Baker Creek Heirloom seeds, have used them for many years and love them. I highly recommend them to anyone looking for heirloom/open pollinated seeds. You can find them HERE <click
Hopefully my seeds are in next week and I can begin putting them in the garden soon...This weekend we will plant the onions, beets, and garlic...
In addition to the above plants/seeds we will also be planting tomatoes of various kinds, zucchini, yellow squash, okra, bell peppers, jalepenos, green beans, blackeyed peas, melons(various), cucumbers, possibly potatoes and whatever else we can find room for! LOL...we love our garden fresh veggies and herbs!
We also are hoping this year to add several more fruit trees to what we already have. Time will tell. Not having farm animals this year has freed up the funds to put back into our land and focus on food production.
My herb bed will also expand ALOT this year...here is a sampling of what I have already planted or hope to plant
- Rosemary
- Thyme
- Basil
- Sage
- Lemon bee balm
- Lemon grass
- Chives
- Dill
- Mint
- Lavendar
- Cilantro
- Parsley
- Oregano
- Garlic
Last year my area was way to small and while things did ok they did not do as well as they could have. So this year its back to the drawing board....I have already began the mental planning of my new and much larger herb bed! Gardenng for me will be different this year due to my diagnosis, but I am determined to make it work! We will also be adding flowers and various other landscaping as money and time allows. This is my favorite time of year and I can already feel the 'winter blues' lifting...Come on springtime!Until next time...Much love and light
I have picked up my onion sets, beet seeds, iceberg lettuce seeds, cabbage seeds and garlic from a local farm store...Today I placed my order for following seeds- Lemon bee balm
- Dill(bouquet)
- Rocky Top lettuce mix
- Fordhook Swiss chard
- Bloomsdale Spinach
- Banana pepper
- Parisienne Carrots
I order from Baker Creek Heirloom seeds, have used them for many years and love them. I highly recommend them to anyone looking for heirloom/open pollinated seeds. You can find them HERE <click
Hopefully my seeds are in next week and I can begin putting them in the garden soon...This weekend we will plant the onions, beets, and garlic...
In addition to the above plants/seeds we will also be planting tomatoes of various kinds, zucchini, yellow squash, okra, bell peppers, jalepenos, green beans, blackeyed peas, melons(various), cucumbers, possibly potatoes and whatever else we can find room for! LOL...we love our garden fresh veggies and herbs!
We also are hoping this year to add several more fruit trees to what we already have. Time will tell. Not having farm animals this year has freed up the funds to put back into our land and focus on food production.
My herb bed will also expand ALOT this year...here is a sampling of what I have already planted or hope to plant
- Rosemary
- Thyme
- Basil
- Sage
- Lemon bee balm
- Lemon grass
- Chives
- Dill
- Mint
- Lavendar
- Cilantro
- Parsley
- Oregano
- Garlic
Last year my area was way to small and while things did ok they did not do as well as they could have. So this year its back to the drawing board....I have already began the mental planning of my new and much larger herb bed! Gardenng for me will be different this year due to my diagnosis, but I am determined to make it work! We will also be adding flowers and various other landscaping as money and time allows. This is my favorite time of year and I can already feel the 'winter blues' lifting...Come on springtime!Until next time...Much love and light
I have picked up my onion sets, beet seeds, iceberg lettuce seeds, cabbage seeds and garlic from a local farm store...Today I placed my order for following seeds
- Lemon bee balm
- Dill(bouquet)
- Rocky Top lettuce mix
- Fordhook Swiss chard
- Bloomsdale Spinach
- Banana pepper
- Parisienne Carrots
I order from Baker Creek Heirloom seeds, have used them for many years and love them. I highly recommend them to anyone looking for heirloom/open pollinated seeds. You can find them HERE <click
Hopefully my seeds are in next week and I can begin putting them in the garden soon...This weekend we will plant the onions, beets, and garlic...
In addition to the above plants/seeds we will also be planting tomatoes of various kinds, zucchini, yellow squash, okra, bell peppers, jalepenos, green beans, blackeyed peas, melons(various), cucumbers, possibly potatoes and whatever else we can find room for! LOL...we love our garden fresh veggies and herbs!
We also are hoping this year to add several more fruit trees to what we already have. Time will tell. Not having farm animals this year has freed up the funds to put back into our land and focus on food production.
My herb bed will also expand ALOT this year...here is a sampling of what I have already planted or hope to plant
- Rosemary
- Thyme
- Basil
- Sage
- Lemon bee balm
- Lemon grass
- Chives
- Dill
- Mint
- Lavendar
- Cilantro
- Parsley
- Oregano
- Garlic
Last year my area was way to small and while things did ok they did not do as well as they could have. So this year its back to the drawing board....I have already began the mental planning of my new and much larger herb bed!
Gardenng for me will be different this year due to my diagnosis, but I am determined to make it work!
We will also be adding flowers and various other landscaping as money and time allows. This is my favorite time of year and I can already feel the 'winter blues' lifting...Come on springtime!
Until next time...Much love and light
I have picked up my onion sets, beet seeds, iceberg lettuce seeds, cabbage seeds and garlic from a local farm store...Today I placed my order for following seeds
- Lemon bee balm
- Dill(bouquet)
- Rocky Top lettuce mix
- Fordhook Swiss chard
- Bloomsdale Spinach
- Banana pepper
- Parisienne Carrots
I order from Baker Creek Heirloom seeds, have used them for many years and love them. I highly recommend them to anyone looking for heirloom/open pollinated seeds. You can find them HERE <click
Hopefully my seeds are in next week and I can begin putting them in the garden soon...This weekend we will plant the onions, beets, and garlic...
In addition to the above plants/seeds we will also be planting tomatoes of various kinds, zucchini, yellow squash, okra, bell peppers, jalepenos, green beans, blackeyed peas, melons(various), cucumbers, possibly potatoes and whatever else we can find room for! LOL...we love our garden fresh veggies and herbs!
We also are hoping this year to add several more fruit trees to what we already have. Time will tell. Not having farm animals this year has freed up the funds to put back into our land and focus on food production.
My herb bed will also expand ALOT this year...here is a sampling of what I have already planted or hope to plant
- Rosemary
- Thyme
- Basil
- Sage
- Lemon bee balm
- Lemon grass
- Chives
- Dill
- Mint
- Lavendar
- Cilantro
- Parsley
- Oregano
- Garlic
Last year my area was way to small and while things did ok they did not do as well as they could have. So this year its back to the drawing board....I have already began the mental planning of my new and much larger herb bed!
Gardenng for me will be different this year due to my diagnosis, but I am determined to make it work!
We will also be adding flowers and various other landscaping as money and time allows. This is my favorite time of year and I can already feel the 'winter blues' lifting...Come on springtime!
Until next time...Much love and light
Before you begin reading please note I no longer in anyway subscribe to the way of thinking outlined here. I do not believe in good or bad christians. Ibelieve in mature and immature christians and that is the duty of mature christians to help those weaker(immature) in a loving, kind, non-judgemental way.
So, when I woke this morning this was on my mind. I have come to realize that even though I have come a very longs ways in healing from the last church ordeal, I have a long ways to go and I think quite possibly I will carry some of this stuff with me for the rest of my life. All I can do is continue to get this stuff out, deal with it the best I can and move beyond it.
In our last church there was a subtle yet pronounced good vs bad mentality. Not just about "good and evil" but a good christian vs. a bad christian. We heard sermons about this often. I would like to outline the thinking that comes with this because I see it often all across the board in all denominations, not just the one I was in. These are in no special order or ranking
- A good christian doesn't ask hard questions and a bad christian is full of questions.
- A good christian will have a bible verse or even several verses to quote you no matter the issue you have. A bad christian will offer advice outside the bible.
- A good christian will shout the house down with Amens, Hallelujahs, Glory to God's, and "preach it brothers". A bad christian will sit in silence and contemplate what is being said.
- A good christian will be at church anytime the doors are open even if have you a contagious illness like the flu because after all thats just satans way of keeping you from God....A bad christian has the common sense to stay home and NOT spread the flu!
- A good christian doesn't read anything outside of his/her own denomination or even about other religions because your mind could be corrupted and you would be led astray. A bad christian enjoys learning about other denominations and religions and at times can help his faith grow.
- A good christian has faith to move a mountain, heal what ails them and others,and faith to know they are the only one right. A bad christian can and often does struggle with faith.
- A good christian has discernement enough to see everyone elses flaws and to be able to tell if they are under demonic influence. They also have the right to tell you that they have that discerment and to point out all you 'flaws' and if your a good christian you thank the said "pointer outer" for explaining how worthless you are. A bad christian would probably tell the good christian to kiss their backside!
- A good christian does not take pharmaceutical drugs/pills because all he needs is the "Gos-Pill"(yes this was really said to us) a Bad christian likes a good dose of advil for pain once in awhile! Oh! the shame!
- If we are good chrstians we can all be little Jesus'(yes we heard this) and a bad christian, well I suppose we are little satans?!?!?!? LOL
- A good christian understands all other denominations except theirs is bad and wrong. A bad christian respects all denominations and people.
- A good christian understands that to be a good christian you have to be a conservative republican and vote as such. A bad chrisitian will vote however the Lord leads and respect others political views. And maybe a bad christian will not vote at all!
- A good christian will be sure to let you know that the "liberals and/or democrats" postion on issues are lies and they are just full of themselves. A bad christian will look at both sides of an issue and make an informed decision.
- A good christian understands science is all a bunch of hooey in spite of the fact science has cured diseases and continues to make strides in many areas. A bad christian will be intrigued by science and all the facts even facts concerning the bible that science has found to be true!
- A good christian will explain that when they judge someone it is "righteous" judgement and that its ok to judge in a "righteous" manner. A bad christian will understand judge not lest ye be judged.
So there ya have it! A very small list of my good vs. bad. I think I wanna be a bad christian!! It is meant as tounge in cheek so please take as such... Many are meant as funny, but all are things I have encountered in my life. I fall into the bad christian camp....LOL..Sad to say that but it was how I was viewed by my church and even some of my christian friends...I no longer allow the opinions of those "perfect, conservative, discerning,righteous judging" christians to rattle me much. I am finding peace with who I am. If anyone reads this and you have encountered this kind of mentality...I'm sorry! Don't let ya get to ya...you are ok being who you are..Embrace you and be the best you, you can be! Your great the way you are!Keep Mindful of your speech and actions~
Before you begin reading please note I no longer in anyway subscribe to the way of thinking outlined here. I do not believe in good or bad christians. Ibelieve in mature and immature christians and that is the duty of mature christians to help those weaker(immature) in a loving, kind, non-judgemental way.
So, when I woke this morning this was on my mind. I have come to realize that even though I have come a very longs ways in healing from the last church ordeal, I have a long ways to go and I think quite possibly I will carry some of this stuff with me for the rest of my life. All I can do is continue to get this stuff out, deal with it the best I can and move beyond it.
In our last church there was a subtle yet pronounced good vs bad mentality. Not just about "good and evil" but a good christian vs. a bad christian. We heard sermons about this often. I would like to outline the thinking that comes with this because I see it often all across the board in all denominations, not just the one I was in. These are in no special order or ranking
- A good christian doesn't ask hard questions and a bad christian is full of questions.
- A good christian will have a bible verse or even several verses to quote you no matter the issue you have. A bad christian will offer advice outside the bible.
- A good christian will shout the house down with Amens, Hallelujahs, Glory to God's, and "preach it brothers". A bad christian will sit in silence and contemplate what is being said.
- A good christian will be at church anytime the doors are open even if have you a contagious illness like the flu because after all thats just satans way of keeping you from God....A bad christian has the common sense to stay home and NOT spread the flu!
- A good christian doesn't read anything outside of his/her own denomination or even about other religions because your mind could be corrupted and you would be led astray. A bad christian enjoys learning about other denominations and religions and at times can help his faith grow.
- A good christian has faith to move a mountain, heal what ails them and others,and faith to know they are the only one right. A bad christian can and often does struggle with faith.
- A good christian has discernement enough to see everyone elses flaws and to be able to tell if they are under demonic influence. They also have the right to tell you that they have that discerment and to point out all you 'flaws' and if your a good christian you thank the said "pointer outer" for explaining how worthless you are. A bad christian would probably tell the good christian to kiss their backside!
- A good christian does not take pharmaceutical drugs/pills because all he needs is the "Gos-Pill"(yes this was really said to us) a Bad christian likes a good dose of advil for pain once in awhile! Oh! the shame!
- If we are good chrstians we can all be little Jesus'(yes we heard this) and a bad christian, well I suppose we are little satans?!?!?!? LOL
- A good christian understands all other denominations except theirs is bad and wrong. A bad christian respects all denominations and people.
- A good christian understands that to be a good christian you have to be a conservative republican and vote as such. A bad chrisitian will vote however the Lord leads and respect others political views. And maybe a bad christian will not vote at all!
- A good christian will be sure to let you know that the "liberals and/or democrats" postion on issues are lies and they are just full of themselves. A bad christian will look at both sides of an issue and make an informed decision.
- A good christian understands science is all a bunch of hooey in spite of the fact science has cured diseases and continues to make strides in many areas. A bad christian will be intrigued by science and all the facts even facts concerning the bible that science has found to be true!
- A good christian will explain that when they judge someone it is "righteous" judgement and that its ok to judge in a "righteous" manner. A bad christian will understand judge not lest ye be judged.
So there ya have it! A very small list of my good vs. bad. I think I wanna be a bad christian!! It is meant as tounge in cheek so please take as such... Many are meant as funny, but all are things I have encountered in my life. I fall into the bad christian camp....LOL..Sad to say that but it was how I was viewed by my church and even some of my christian friends...I no longer allow the opinions of those "perfect, conservative, discerning,righteous judging" christians to rattle me much. I am finding peace with who I am. If anyone reads this and you have encountered this kind of mentality...I'm sorry! Don't let ya get to ya...you are ok being who you are..Embrace you and be the best you, you can be! Your great the way you are!Keep Mindful of your speech and actions~
Before you begin reading please note I no longer in anyway subscribe to the way of thinking outlined here. I do not believe in good or bad christians. Ibelieve in mature and immature christians and that is the duty of mature christians to help those weaker(immature) in a loving, kind, non-judgemental way.
So, when I woke this morning this was on my mind. I have come to realize that even though I have come a very longs ways in healing from the last church ordeal, I have a long ways to go and I think quite possibly I will carry some of this stuff with me for the rest of my life. All I can do is continue to get this stuff out, deal with it the best I can and move beyond it.
In our last church there was a subtle yet pronounced good vs bad mentality. Not just about "good and evil" but a good christian vs. a bad christian. We heard sermons about this often. I would like to outline the thinking that comes with this because I see it often all across the board in all denominations, not just the one I was in. These are in no special order or ranking
- A good christian doesn't ask hard questions and a bad christian is full of questions.
- A good christian will have a bible verse or even several verses to quote you no matter the issue you have. A bad christian will offer advice outside the bible.
- A good christian will shout the house down with Amens, Hallelujahs, Glory to God's, and "preach it brothers". A bad christian will sit in silence and contemplate what is being said.
- A good christian will be at church anytime the doors are open even if have you a contagious illness like the flu because after all thats just satans way of keeping you from God....A bad christian has the common sense to stay home and NOT spread the flu!
- A good christian doesn't read anything outside of his/her own denomination or even about other religions because your mind could be corrupted and you would be led astray. A bad christian enjoys learning about other denominations and religions and at times can help his faith grow.
- A good christian has faith to move a mountain, heal what ails them and others,and faith to know they are the only one right. A bad christian can and often does struggle with faith.
- A good christian has discernement enough to see everyone elses flaws and to be able to tell if they are under demonic influence. They also have the right to tell you that they have that discerment and to point out all you 'flaws' and if your a good christian you thank the said "pointer outer" for explaining how worthless you are. A bad christian would probably tell the good christian to kiss their backside!
- A good christian does not take pharmaceutical drugs/pills because all he needs is the "Gos-Pill"(yes this was really said to us) a Bad christian likes a good dose of advil for pain once in awhile! Oh! the shame!
- If we are good chrstians we can all be little Jesus'(yes we heard this) and a bad christian, well I suppose we are little satans?!?!?!? LOL
- A good christian understands all other denominations except theirs is bad and wrong. A bad christian respects all denominations and people.
- A good christian understands that to be a good christian you have to be a conservative republican and vote as such. A bad chrisitian will vote however the Lord leads and respect others political views. And maybe a bad christian will not vote at all!
- A good christian will be sure to let you know that the "liberals and/or democrats" postion on issues are lies and they are just full of themselves. A bad christian will look at both sides of an issue and make an informed decision.
- A good christian understands science is all a bunch of hooey in spite of the fact science has cured diseases and continues to make strides in many areas. A bad christian will be intrigued by science and all the facts even facts concerning the bible that science has found to be true!
- A good christian will explain that when they judge someone it is "righteous" judgement and that its ok to judge in a "righteous" manner. A bad christian will understand judge not lest ye be judged.
So there ya have it! A very small list of my good vs. bad. I think I wanna be a bad christian!! It is meant as tounge in cheek so please take as such... Many are meant as funny, but all are things I have encountered in my life. I fall into the bad christian camp....LOL..Sad to say that but it was how I was viewed by my church and even some of my christian friends...I no longer allow the opinions of those "perfect, conservative, discerning,righteous judging" christians to rattle me much. I am finding peace with who I am. If anyone reads this and you have encountered this kind of mentality...I'm sorry! Don't let ya get to ya...you are ok being who you are..Embrace you and be the best you, you can be! Your great the way you are!
Keep Mindful of your speech and actions~
Before you begin reading please note I no longer in anyway subscribe to the way of thinking outlined here. I do not believe in good or bad christians. Ibelieve in mature and immature christians and that is the duty of mature christians to help those weaker(immature) in a loving, kind, non-judgemental way.
So, when I woke this morning this was on my mind. I have come to realize that even though I have come a very longs ways in healing from the last church ordeal, I have a long ways to go and I think quite possibly I will carry some of this stuff with me for the rest of my life. All I can do is continue to get this stuff out, deal with it the best I can and move beyond it.
In our last church there was a subtle yet pronounced good vs bad mentality. Not just about "good and evil" but a good christian vs. a bad christian. We heard sermons about this often. I would like to outline the thinking that comes with this because I see it often all across the board in all denominations, not just the one I was in. These are in no special order or ranking
- A good christian doesn't ask hard questions and a bad christian is full of questions.
- A good christian will have a bible verse or even several verses to quote you no matter the issue you have. A bad christian will offer advice outside the bible.
- A good christian will shout the house down with Amens, Hallelujahs, Glory to God's, and "preach it brothers". A bad christian will sit in silence and contemplate what is being said.
- A good christian will be at church anytime the doors are open even if have you a contagious illness like the flu because after all thats just satans way of keeping you from God....A bad christian has the common sense to stay home and NOT spread the flu!
- A good christian doesn't read anything outside of his/her own denomination or even about other religions because your mind could be corrupted and you would be led astray. A bad christian enjoys learning about other denominations and religions and at times can help his faith grow.
- A good christian has faith to move a mountain, heal what ails them and others,and faith to know they are the only one right. A bad christian can and often does struggle with faith.
- A good christian has discernement enough to see everyone elses flaws and to be able to tell if they are under demonic influence. They also have the right to tell you that they have that discerment and to point out all you 'flaws' and if your a good christian you thank the said "pointer outer" for explaining how worthless you are. A bad christian would probably tell the good christian to kiss their backside!
- A good christian does not take pharmaceutical drugs/pills because all he needs is the "Gos-Pill"(yes this was really said to us) a Bad christian likes a good dose of advil for pain once in awhile! Oh! the shame!
- If we are good chrstians we can all be little Jesus'(yes we heard this) and a bad christian, well I suppose we are little satans?!?!?!? LOL
- A good christian understands all other denominations except theirs is bad and wrong. A bad christian respects all denominations and people.
- A good christian understands that to be a good christian you have to be a conservative republican and vote as such. A bad chrisitian will vote however the Lord leads and respect others political views. And maybe a bad christian will not vote at all!
- A good christian will be sure to let you know that the "liberals and/or democrats" postion on issues are lies and they are just full of themselves. A bad christian will look at both sides of an issue and make an informed decision.
- A good christian understands science is all a bunch of hooey in spite of the fact science has cured diseases and continues to make strides in many areas. A bad christian will be intrigued by science and all the facts even facts concerning the bible that science has found to be true!
- A good christian will explain that when they judge someone it is "righteous" judgement and that its ok to judge in a "righteous" manner. A bad christian will understand judge not lest ye be judged.
So there ya have it! A very small list of my good vs. bad. I think I wanna be a bad christian!! It is meant as tounge in cheek so please take as such... Many are meant as funny, but all are things I have encountered in my life. I fall into the bad christian camp....LOL..Sad to say that but it was how I was viewed by my church and even some of my christian friends...I no longer allow the opinions of those "perfect, conservative, discerning,righteous judging" christians to rattle me much. I am finding peace with who I am. If anyone reads this and you have encountered this kind of mentality...I'm sorry! Don't let ya get to ya...you are ok being who you are..Embrace you and be the best you, you can be! Your great the way you are!
Keep Mindful of your speech and actions~
Hello there friends! Its been longer than I had intended it to be since I last blogged....I've taken some time to just focus on life and be still...Our weather has been very nice so I have been enjoying spending time outdoors, enjoying mother nature and doing some purging of things in the house...
During this time of quiet and reflection I have been able to really let go of some things...I came to the realization that pain can be like a child...Let me explain...
Pain comes from being hurt either intentionally or unintentionally...it can be caused from words or actions...it can even be caused from lack of words or action....however it comes into your life, when it does this is the beginning....the birth of your pain...sometimes we are able to let it go and move on realizing its not our pain to carry.... and other times the pain is so intense and so deep we simply hold on...when we hold on we begin to nurture it, nurse it, love it, raise it.... we almost gloat in it....it becomes our child...it becomes part of us...the longer we care for it and nurture it the bigger it grows...the bigger it grows the more attention it requires...we come to a point in our life that the pain is all there is...we cannot seem to get away from it....like a demanding 2 year old it requires a great deal of our attention and emotion...in turn this makes us angry, bitter and almost paralyzed and unable to even function...the pain now becomes who we are...we have allowed it to take over every aspect of our life....I was to this point...The pain of the things of the past had all but taken my life...I was holding onto to pain from childhood and a devastating pain from 35 years ago...I had been rejected and hurt...it festered in my mind and heart for all these years...instead of letting it go and moving on and realizing it was over and it was the past and living for today and the looking forward to the future, I kept it alive in my mind and my heart...it was destroying me...every little hurt I endured from that point on built on top of all the past hurts...I think I was to a point I was so full of hurt, anger, resentment, bitterness there was absolutely no room for love, compassion, kindness and most of all peace...
Something happened a couple weeks ago with a dear friend...there was a misunderstanding...not serious really, but things had come to a head that had festered for awhile...it was time...it was in that moment that I was able to clearly see some things...I realized so much of what I had thought mattered....really didn't...I realized that for years I have been living my life around what others thought I should be doing, saying, believing etc....In that moment I let go....I understood that I had been living for others hoping to get rid of the pain...See, I guess I thought if I was just did what everyone else was doing my pain would somehow go away...if I just believed enough, had more faith, prayed more, got into the word more...whatever it was they said I needed to do to be happier I was doing....or at least trying to do...but what I realized is that pain doesn't go away by doing things to cover it up....it doesn't go away by pretending its not there...it goes away by 
I refuse to allow myself to be held captive by someone else's words action or behavior ever again...Life is short....I have more life behind me than before me at this point...I do not have time to waste in being weighed down by hurt...I know hurt will come again, its part of being a human being...but I also understand the vitalness of letting it go and not raising it....not hanging on to it....I no longer want to be in victim mode...I am a survivor!
I will no longer allow others to dictate what I should or should not believeI will no longer allow others to treat me as if I am less thanI will no longer allow the behavior or others to tell me how I should act
My journey is not your journey and vice versa....We should never try and get someone to conform to what our ideas are...We are all unique individuals...we have unique feelings, thoughts, ideas and mannerisms...our differences should be embraced, not stifled....Be who you are and love yourself...I am finding the me that I so long ago left to be what others thought I should be...Sadly, that is time I cannot get back...but I can certainly make the most of what time I have left...and I intend to do just that!
It is my sincere hope each that read this, take inventory of your life and let go of anything you need to let go of....be who you are in-spite of what others think...embrace you...the real you...if you have pain...drop it right where you are...walk off and refuse to pick it back up...when others bring it up and try to get you to carry it just a little further...smile, and quietly walk away...let it be....let it go....move on!Keep Mindful~NOTE-If you have trouble reading the graphics clicking on them should make them larger.
Hello there friends! Its been longer than I had intended it to be since I last blogged....I've taken some time to just focus on life and be still...Our weather has been very nice so I have been enjoying spending time outdoors, enjoying mother nature and doing some purging of things in the house...
During this time of quiet and reflection I have been able to really let go of some things...I came to the realization that pain can be like a child...Let me explain...
Pain comes from being hurt either intentionally or unintentionally...it can be caused from words or actions...it can even be caused from lack of words or action....however it comes into your life, when it does this is the beginning....the birth of your pain...sometimes we are able to let it go and move on realizing its not our pain to carry.... and other times the pain is so intense and so deep we simply hold on...when we hold on we begin to nurture it, nurse it, love it, raise it.... we almost gloat in it....it becomes our child...it becomes part of us...the longer we care for it and nurture it the bigger it grows...the bigger it grows the more attention it requires...we come to a point in our life that the pain is all there is...we cannot seem to get away from it....like a demanding 2 year old it requires a great deal of our attention and emotion...in turn this makes us angry, bitter and almost paralyzed and unable to even function...the pain now becomes who we are...we have allowed it to take over every aspect of our life....I was to this point...The pain of the things of the past had all but taken my life...I was holding onto to pain from childhood and a devastating pain from 35 years ago...I had been rejected and hurt...it festered in my mind and heart for all these years...instead of letting it go and moving on and realizing it was over and it was the past and living for today and the looking forward to the future, I kept it alive in my mind and my heart...it was destroying me...every little hurt I endured from that point on built on top of all the past hurts...I think I was to a point I was so full of hurt, anger, resentment, bitterness there was absolutely no room for love, compassion, kindness and most of all peace...
Something happened a couple weeks ago with a dear friend...there was a misunderstanding...not serious really, but things had come to a head that had festered for awhile...it was time...it was in that moment that I was able to clearly see some things...I realized so much of what I had thought mattered....really didn't...I realized that for years I have been living my life around what others thought I should be doing, saying, believing etc....In that moment I let go....I understood that I had been living for others hoping to get rid of the pain...See, I guess I thought if I was just did what everyone else was doing my pain would somehow go away...if I just believed enough, had more faith, prayed more, got into the word more...whatever it was they said I needed to do to be happier I was doing....or at least trying to do...but what I realized is that pain doesn't go away by doing things to cover it up....it doesn't go away by pretending its not there...it goes away by 
I refuse to allow myself to be held captive by someone else's words action or behavior ever again...Life is short....I have more life behind me than before me at this point...I do not have time to waste in being weighed down by hurt...I know hurt will come again, its part of being a human being...but I also understand the vitalness of letting it go and not raising it....not hanging on to it....I no longer want to be in victim mode...I am a survivor!
I will no longer allow others to dictate what I should or should not believeI will no longer allow others to treat me as if I am less thanI will no longer allow the behavior or others to tell me how I should act
My journey is not your journey and vice versa....We should never try and get someone to conform to what our ideas are...We are all unique individuals...we have unique feelings, thoughts, ideas and mannerisms...our differences should be embraced, not stifled....Be who you are and love yourself...I am finding the me that I so long ago left to be what others thought I should be...Sadly, that is time I cannot get back...but I can certainly make the most of what time I have left...and I intend to do just that!
It is my sincere hope each that read this, take inventory of your life and let go of anything you need to let go of....be who you are in-spite of what others think...embrace you...the real you...if you have pain...drop it right where you are...walk off and refuse to pick it back up...when others bring it up and try to get you to carry it just a little further...smile, and quietly walk away...let it be....let it go....move on!Keep Mindful~NOTE-If you have trouble reading the graphics clicking on them should make them larger.
Hello there friends! Its been longer than I had intended it to be since I last blogged....I've taken some time to just focus on life and be still...Our weather has been very nice so I have been enjoying spending time outdoors, enjoying mother nature and doing some purging of things in the house...
During this time of quiet and reflection I have been able to really let go of some things...I came to the realization that pain can be like a child...Let me explain...
Pain comes from being hurt either intentionally or unintentionally...it can be caused from words or actions...it can even be caused from lack of words or action....however it comes into your life, when it does this is the beginning....the birth of your pain...sometimes we are able to let it go and move on realizing its not our pain to carry.... and other times the pain is so intense and so deep we simply hold on...when we hold on we begin to nurture it, nurse it, love it, raise it.... we almost gloat in it....it becomes our child...it becomes part of us...the longer we care for it and nurture it the bigger it grows...the bigger it grows the more attention it requires...we come to a point in our life that the pain is all there is...we cannot seem to get away from it....like a demanding 2 year old it requires a great deal of our attention and emotion...in turn this makes us angry, bitter and almost paralyzed and unable to even function...the pain now becomes who we are...we have allowed it to take over every aspect of our life....I was to this point...The pain of the things of the past had all but taken my life...I was holding onto to pain from childhood and a devastating pain from 35 years ago...I had been rejected and hurt...it festered in my mind and heart for all these years...instead of letting it go and moving on and realizing it was over and it was the past and living for today and the looking forward to the future, I kept it alive in my mind and my heart...it was destroying me...every little hurt I endured from that point on built on top of all the past hurts...I think I was to a point I was so full of hurt, anger, resentment, bitterness there was absolutely no room for love, compassion, kindness and most of all peace...
Something happened a couple weeks ago with a dear friend...there was a misunderstanding...not serious really, but things had come to a head that had festered for awhile...it was time...it was in that moment that I was able to clearly see some things...I realized so much of what I had thought mattered....really didn't...I realized that for years I have been living my life around what others thought I should be doing, saying, believing etc....In that moment I let go....I understood that I had been living for others hoping to get rid of the pain...See, I guess I thought if I was just did what everyone else was doing my pain would somehow go away...if I just believed enough, had more faith, prayed more, got into the word more...whatever it was they said I needed to do to be happier I was doing....or at least trying to do...but what I realized is that pain doesn't go away by doing things to cover it up....it doesn't go away by pretending its not there...it goes away by
facing it head on.....it goes away by being real with you and who you are....when you do those 2 things you can begin to chip away at the pain that has encapsulated you...I have spent much time in quietness, meditation and self reflection the past couple of weeks....I am finding I am ok without the pain....little by little I am letting it go...placing it back on the ones that hurt me...I no longer wish to carry their words, action, behaviors and unhappiness...When I was carrying all of the baggage they had placed on me, and I willingly carried, I had no room for anything good...I was so full of bitterness, anger, hate that any good that there was, was being smothered under the load...This child of pain had grown to the point I could no longer carry it...it was time to release it and let it go....let it go its own way...give it back to the rightful owners.
I refuse to allow myself to be held captive by someone else's words action or behavior ever again...Life is short....I have more life behind me than before me at this point...I do not have time to waste in being weighed down by hurt...I know hurt will come again, its part of being a human being...but I also understand the vitalness of letting it go and not raising it....not hanging on to it....I no longer want to be in victim mode...I am a survivor!
I will no longer allow others to dictate what I should or should not believe
I will no longer allow others to treat me as if I am less than
I will no longer allow the behavior or others to tell me how I should act
My journey is not your journey and vice versa....We should never try and get someone to conform to what our ideas are...We are all unique individuals...we have unique feelings, thoughts, ideas and mannerisms...our differences should be embraced, not stifled....Be who you are and love yourself...I am finding the me that I so long ago left to be what others thought I should be...Sadly, that is time I cannot get back...but I can certainly make the most of what time I have left...and I intend to do just that!
It is my sincere hope each that read this, take inventory of your life and let go of anything you need to let go of....be who you are in-spite of what others think...embrace you...the real you...if you have pain...drop it right where you are...walk off and refuse to pick it back up...when others bring it up and try to get you to carry it just a little further...smile, and quietly walk away...let it be....let it go....move on!
Keep Mindful~
NOTE-If you have trouble reading the graphics clicking on them should make them larger.
Hello there friends! Its been longer than I had intended it to be since I last blogged....I've taken some time to just focus on life and be still...Our weather has been very nice so I have been enjoying spending time outdoors, enjoying mother nature and doing some purging of things in the house...
During this time of quiet and reflection I have been able to really let go of some things...I came to the realization that pain can be like a child...Let me explain...
Pain comes from being hurt either intentionally or unintentionally...it can be caused from words or actions...it can even be caused from lack of words or action....however it comes into your life, when it does this is the beginning....the birth of your pain...sometimes we are able to let it go and move on realizing its not our pain to carry.... and other times the pain is so intense and so deep we simply hold on...when we hold on we begin to nurture it, nurse it, love it, raise it.... we almost gloat in it....it becomes our child...it becomes part of us...the longer we care for it and nurture it the bigger it grows...the bigger it grows the more attention it requires...we come to a point in our life that the pain is all there is...we cannot seem to get away from it....like a demanding 2 year old it requires a great deal of our attention and emotion...in turn this makes us angry, bitter and almost paralyzed and unable to even function...the pain now becomes who we are...we have allowed it to take over every aspect of our life....I was to this point...The pain of the things of the past had all but taken my life...I was holding onto to pain from childhood and a devastating pain from 35 years ago...I had been rejected and hurt...it festered in my mind and heart for all these years...instead of letting it go and moving on and realizing it was over and it was the past and living for today and the looking forward to the future, I kept it alive in my mind and my heart...it was destroying me...every little hurt I endured from that point on built on top of all the past hurts...I think I was to a point I was so full of hurt, anger, resentment, bitterness there was absolutely no room for love, compassion, kindness and most of all peace...
Something happened a couple weeks ago with a dear friend...there was a misunderstanding...not serious really, but things had come to a head that had festered for awhile...it was time...it was in that moment that I was able to clearly see some things...I realized so much of what I had thought mattered....really didn't...I realized that for years I have been living my life around what others thought I should be doing, saying, believing etc....In that moment I let go....I understood that I had been living for others hoping to get rid of the pain...See, I guess I thought if I was just did what everyone else was doing my pain would somehow go away...if I just believed enough, had more faith, prayed more, got into the word more...whatever it was they said I needed to do to be happier I was doing....or at least trying to do...but what I realized is that pain doesn't go away by doing things to cover it up....it doesn't go away by pretending its not there...it goes away by
facing it head on.....it goes away by being real with you and who you are....when you do those 2 things you can begin to chip away at the pain that has encapsulated you...I have spent much time in quietness, meditation and self reflection the past couple of weeks....I am finding I am ok without the pain....little by little I am letting it go...placing it back on the ones that hurt me...I no longer wish to carry their words, action, behaviors and unhappiness...When I was carrying all of the baggage they had placed on me, and I willingly carried, I had no room for anything good...I was so full of bitterness, anger, hate that any good that there was, was being smothered under the load...This child of pain had grown to the point I could no longer carry it...it was time to release it and let it go....let it go its own way...give it back to the rightful owners.
I refuse to allow myself to be held captive by someone else's words action or behavior ever again...Life is short....I have more life behind me than before me at this point...I do not have time to waste in being weighed down by hurt...I know hurt will come again, its part of being a human being...but I also understand the vitalness of letting it go and not raising it....not hanging on to it....I no longer want to be in victim mode...I am a survivor!
I will no longer allow others to dictate what I should or should not believe
I will no longer allow others to treat me as if I am less than
I will no longer allow the behavior or others to tell me how I should act
My journey is not your journey and vice versa....We should never try and get someone to conform to what our ideas are...We are all unique individuals...we have unique feelings, thoughts, ideas and mannerisms...our differences should be embraced, not stifled....Be who you are and love yourself...I am finding the me that I so long ago left to be what others thought I should be...Sadly, that is time I cannot get back...but I can certainly make the most of what time I have left...and I intend to do just that!
It is my sincere hope each that read this, take inventory of your life and let go of anything you need to let go of....be who you are in-spite of what others think...embrace you...the real you...if you have pain...drop it right where you are...walk off and refuse to pick it back up...when others bring it up and try to get you to carry it just a little further...smile, and quietly walk away...let it be....let it go....move on!
Keep Mindful~
NOTE-If you have trouble reading the graphics clicking on them should make them larger.
